Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Don't Let Yesterday Use Up Today

Somedays I do just that. I let the past wrongs in my life come in, fester, and create turmoil in my life and marriage. So, for the last week and a half, I have been in prayer and just working to filter out the negative. It has been a great week and a half. Brett and I giggle together and enjoy each other more. Love isn't the problem...I LOVE my husband desperately. The problem is my issues from childhood and developing an unforgiving spirit in order to protect myself from hurt. It's much easier to be angry and walk away than to forgive and work it out. Why didn't someone tell me that great marriages actually take work?!? The greater the struggle, the greater the victory. I look forward to everyday, my family's life is growing stronger and my marriage becomes more and more beautiful.

Recently, I was able to see Brett in comparison to other men. It made me love my husband even more. Brett is so kind, forgiving and willing to help. I told him a whole list of my favorite qualities about him, and he told me that's all because he's a redneck with good ol' boy values. I don't know if that is entirely true, but I do also like the country boy in him. I don't know...I've been so hard on him these last couple of months, part of my blames the hormones of new birth control and once again the other part is my festering unforgiving spirit. The old unforgiving person is gone...I am a new creation...God can work with anything if we allow Him, right?

Last week I was telling a friend that I would like to have a girl's fun day to Pinnacle Promenade. I still haven't been. (Gasp!) She asked if Brett would go with me. I told her that he hates shopping. If I took him along, I just wouldn't have a good time right along with him. Then she says, "Sometimes he sounds like such a jerk." I replied, "Ya, but don't all of our husbands sound like jerks to other women." But that's what sent me into severe remorse. Somehow I've made him sound horrible to her and maybe others. Not my intention!!! Why would I make my husband do something he dislikes so very much? I wouldn't want him to drag me off on some forever camping trip. But then again, maybe it was good that she said that...it made me think of all the good and bad qualities of Brett. And let me tell you, the good list is most definitely the long list. It made me see my real husband. Not the false enemy I had created these last months.

So, here Brett and I are. Moving forward, and enjoying each other. Through prayer and seeking God, I am being molded into a more kind and forgiving wife. I love it. I love it when my husband walks in from work and says, "Thanks for being kind and all lovey. You've been really great lately." Thank you, Brett, for meeting my words of affirmation love language. Isn't the Lord great!

1 comment:

Suzanne said...

Wonderful! How you read the book, "Created to be His Helpmeet?" It is very good/convicting for us wife. It is not for the faint of heart or those wanting a feel good book.

I have often said it is easier for me to get angry than to cry. It's a defense for me too.