Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Sometimes You Have a Clear View

The past two weeks have seen me in a melancholy mood. It started on a Thursday that consisted of the baby diving off my bed, an ER visit to get stitches for Tristan, Alex getting a black eye, the garage flooding, and my brother being robbed in broad daylight. Add that to pre-existing marriage issues and reading a book that's making me deal with that and you get melancholy me. As of Monday, I was very emotional. My friend, Dana, called late that night to check on me. It was so good to feel like someone outside my family cared. She let me talk and cry while also being encouraging. It was good. Women get their burst of thought and ideas a lot of times from conversation, while men need their cave. It really helped to have her on the other line. Thanks, Dana!!

So, Tuesday was much better and today was great. I have a clear view. Tuesday we went to test drive a big, honkin' Suburban that Brett has been eyeing for a coulple of months. The next thing you know we were driving it home. It's ours. God really opened up some doors for us in that hour. Just things that shouldn't have happened did. It was that moment in the car dealers office that tears sprang to my eyes, and I realized once again that I didn't let God reign in my life as He should always be able to reign. I had put on my Miss-Fix-It belt again. He humbles me so! So, Brett and I stood on the lot, holding hands and prayed, with two kids in the Suburban and one in the van. We gave our Lord the glory and honor He always deserves.

Today, I had a joy and peace in my spirit. I was able to set aside time for a real moment with God and His Word. How FUN! A friend came over and we worked out together. I completely finished two loads of laundry, the dishes and spent time with the kids. Brett came home and I greeted him with a smile and ice water. (blasted Arkansas summer) I'm not jaded, I know life happens, but I hope to let God always be the fixer and mover...not me. I want to seek Him and find Him. Instead of letting the sadness reign, I'm in prayer for my marriage and family. I think the ER visit really shook me. I guess I had always seen my kids as invincible, and the stitches and blood jilted me off my thought process.

But, today, I was able to see a few things that I love. Here's some of them. I love to catch Brett's eyes, and we stare at each other, almost as if something is being spoken between us. It takes me back five years to being pregnant and living in Fayetteville, looking forward to Fridays with Brett and the Dr's appointment where we would listen to the beat of our first baby's heart. I love shopping with just Alex and seeing him wave at each person and say, "Hi, guys!" Then he goes into horse or truck mode with his neighs or peeling tires. I love when Tristan says the funniest things. Such as,"Dang you level 3!" as he shakes his fist at his video game. Or when Brett is putting together a fossil puzzle and says something along the lines of the instructions might as well be in Chinese. To which T-Bird replies in a voice of exasperation, "We don't need Chinese stuff." (Ya, tell Mattel that) I love that Isaac has discovered his tongue. He even smiles with it sticking out. I love it when he is looking for something he lifts his head up and surveys around. Once he spies the destination, he ducks his head and crawls off at super speed. I love my family. Giggles or tears...I love my family.

I love it when I have a clear view.

No comments: