Friday, May 30, 2008

Filling My Heart With the Right Stuff

So, much has happened over the last few weeks. I feel like I need to catch everyone up, but that just isn't possible now is it. I found it overwhelming to rehash all the things that have happened. I'll be posting a photo catch up soon. That will be fun! Good news, I have more energy. I'm being very adamant about taking better care of myself and listening to my body. We're on vacation now. Brett is currently asleep, I'm trying not to make a whole lot of noise so that he gets that desired rest!! I've been a bit emotional these last few days. Soooooooo much is going on, and I can't put on my Ms Fix-It Belt and make it all better. That's always so hard for me. MY family is great, don't think there is a challenge there. Things and people around us are troubling me.

One thing that is really getting me, is that I was bullied by a man. I'm still fuming over his try to make me feel inferior so that he could feed his ego. He wanted to control me!!!! It's brought back feelings from my childhood. I can't explain it, but if you've ever been abused in any sense you probably know what I am talking about. I'm praying about it, but this is one of those areas that I sometimes allow Satan to use against me. Trying to just be at peace about his stupidity. It just bothers me that he tried that with me...ugh. What makes it worse is that he's not a random stranger, he's an acquaintance of the family. Ugh again....

Anyway, for that reason plus others, I've been on a lower limb than I'd like to be...that is until last night. Brett and I have a meeting we go to every Thursday night for mentorship and growth. And, Man, does it get meaty after dark. I was reluctant to go, but Brett insisted I go, saying he knew I needed to be there. So, off we went. So glad to have went. There is nothing like having God's word put in your heart and being loved on by people who see who you are today but also who you are striving to be. I needed the love last night!!

Here I sit this morning with the joy filling my heart. You know, that's another thing I'm thankful for, knowing the difference between joy and happiness. No matter the storm, the joy of the Lord leaps and smiles inside me.


WendyJanelle said...

Ohhhh, I'm so glad the meeting fed your soul last night. That is just awesome. And I'm so glad that your husband loves you enough to lead you into good things, even if you resist. :-)

That guy-- well, he's a bully, but YOU handled it right. You were awesome and strong and firm. Just being firm and confident is usually enough. I know that doesn't change the problem of his behavior, but maybe he'll never try it with you again. His poor wife...

I know things are up and down lately. I hope things smooth out soon.
Love ya.

Mrs Smiley Joe said...

Thanks, Wendy!