Friday, November 20, 2009

Dirty Confession

Oh, I've got a dirty confession all right. Strap in for this one. I read the Bible. No, no, that's not the confession. That's not dirty at all. Okay, again--I read the Bible. I own several Bibles. I'll just name a few. My NIV from my 'awakening' as an eighteen year old. It sports a nice sea green mark down its leather cover. Thank you 3 year old T-Bird. My ESV purse size, beautiful brown leather with a scroll embossing. I love this Bible. It's light-weight and tiny. It has traveled in suitcases, diaper bags, purses and picnic baskets. It's a great little guy if you have great eyesight. I do. A mother hawk in the making, I am.

And now for my dirty confession. My favorite Bible is my NASB. Well, that's not dirty at all you may think. Oh, but it is because this Bible is paperback and cost me only five bucks. I always feel like everyone is staring at me when I pull it out in group Bible studies. It is not the worn leather Bible most institutions expect a Christian woman to tote. I feel like I'm not meeting some pre-requisite for being a Christian.

I am just so hard on Bibles, they go with me everywhere. {I always keep a couple of books and a Bible in the truck--You never know when you might have a vehicular delay. Good personal development time--Or a quick escape from your situation. If you haven't already, you might stuff a book in your vehicle, it's a good thing.} And so my NASB has replaced my ESV just because Mr ESV was wearing out rather quickly. {Maybe 4 years of being toted everyday really isn't so quickly, but I thought it was}

I'm also not a write a thought in the Bible kind of gal. I know, I know, it surprises me too. I think I have lots of reasons for not writing in it. I used to write thoughts, emphasises and general who-ha, but I would go back later and just not be in that same place and would think, why did I write that? {Just me, I'm a weirdo.} However, I don't mind highlighting or a note here or there in my NASB. Perhaps it's because deep inside I know that it is serving me only for a season. Comparable to a year in school or something. This isn't the Bible I'll be using in 30 years. But if I hang onto it, I can look back in my 'notebook' and see where I was in life, where I was hoping to go, and did I arrive at my longed for location as a woman, mother, wife, friend, daughter, leader... Perhaps I'll have to get another paperback NASB in a couple of years. I know I'll be a different woman even then. The boys will be older, I'll be more of a schooling mom instead of a mom of preschoolers. Brett and I will have been together for a decade. Yep, definitely will be a different woman then. I have to admit that it sounds wonderful.

So, please don't stare. Yes, it is a cheapo paperback Bible. But I love it and am very much committed to being a woman that reflects the Lord's love and kindness. Don't judge me by my Bible.
Whew, glad I got that out.

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