Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Calico Critters It Is

Here I sit at 23 weeks pregnant, and I wonder how did we get here? A little over 10 weeks ago, I was really starting to wonder if I would make it through this pregnancy at all. I've always had a pretty good case of morning sickness with every pregnancy, but this one---well, it was so different. I was so dizzy that I couldn't even drive, Brett became the mother for a while, and I held down the couch for a good month or so while wearing ever so stylish motion sickness bands.
And weird things would make me nauseous--like the color of my sheets. They are a dark brown and I love them. Yet the sight of them was vomitous. Yes, vomitous. (I think I made that word up) Which is why I didn't sleep in my own bed. I was craving crisp white sheets...??!!...No, I didn't go out and buy new sheets, mostly because I couldn't drive myself to the store. But we'll pretend that it was because I'm not impulsive. No, not impulsive at all. That's why I threw away our plunger because it grossed me out at around 9 weeks pregnant...and two days later Hoot used a whole role of toilet paper for his tiny bum. Guess what bathroom tool I needed...Yes, I don't give in to impulsive behavior. I am always level headed.

I can tell you that when I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't immediately hope for a girl like I had with the previous babies. My first thought was a prayer of protection over my growing baby. When we found out that we were pregnant with our fourth baby I prayed protection and for a girl. I wonder sometimes if my gender side of the prayer was stronger than the protection side. I know I couldn't have prevented that miscarriage, but it has shaped quite a bit of my thoughts and personal growth over the last 2 years. With this baby I just wanted a baby in 9 months. Does that make sense? Sure a girl would be icing on the top, but I didn't 'have to have' her.

My mom's first reaction was, "This is our baby girl!" I remember shushing her and saying something like, "And if it's not, he'll be awesome like the other three." Brett also seemed to be convinced that we were having a girl as well. Which annoyed me because I was trying to stay emotionally detached. Seriously, I was not going to get wrapped up in that again.

I can tell you that I had been praying in the months preceding our pregnancy that if God gave us another child that she be a healthy baby girl. I would plead with God to hear my voice and to answer my heart's desire. After our miscarriage, I was so thankful to have my boys that I tried to convince myself that it would be okay if I never had my baby girl. And it worked for about a year and then it came back stronger and stronger.

So, before Brett and I were ever together I would pray for our time together to be blessed and if a baby were to come about that we would conceive a girl. No, we were not trying. But considering that we conceived a baby with less than a 1% chance of doing so with Hoot...I always pray about babies.

Which brings us to the ultrasound at 17 weeks. I had prayed that if we were not having a girl that God give me a dream just as he had previously with the boys, but I had been having girl dreams. I even dreamed how much she weighed, very detailed dreams. {I'm not sure how much stock I put in that since I've also dreamed about riding on the hood of the pizza delivery guy's car in Little Rock before}

As we arrived at our appointment, there was such a calm among the family. We had the same ultra-sound tech as we had in the past. She refers to all babies as he until she finds out otherwise. It didn't bother me this time. The boys were so, so excited to see the baby in my belly. T immediately put in a request for his own sonogram machine so he could 'look at his insides' whenever he wanted.

On the screen, the baby looks so big and Hoot was thrilled and said, "I will hold it in a minute." As if the baby were to come out at anytime. Brett and I later discussed and realized we both had this same thought, It's okay if we have a boy. Our boys are awesome. We do boys well. And that's when the tech said, I think I know what you are having. It's a girl. Me with tears: You think I could have a girl??!!

So there we were excited and out of our comfort zone. You would think that we would shout it from the roof tops. But I found myself in a quiet and processing the newness of it all. A girl.

Then when we finally told people, some of our friends and family said the dreaded words, Are you sure? Oh, come on!! Really??
You should also understand that I had looked up gender identification photos online as soon as we got home to compare. A call to my cousin in Little Rock who is a sonogram tech led to us traveling to LR for a second ultra-sound. AND it's a GIRL! For real! With a perfect girl sign and view to see her umbilical cord as well. There are no extra pieces.
Praising the Lord for answering my prayer and heart's desire.

Special shout out to those who have journeyed with me through the years and have also prayed for us to have a daughter and believing that we one day would. Thanks to those who listened to me sort through my thoughts in that first trimester. I have the best support and friends.
So here she is:

She's beautiful and loves to relax. She even gave us a wave then propped her leg up and touched her finger to her chin. Such a silly, sweet girl already.
We are so blessed and so thankful.........and in a new world. A good world. A world full of possibilities and finally----Calico Critters!!!

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6 comments:

Trish said...

I'm smiling with you, my friend.

Carolyn said...

So exciting! Thanks for sharing.

Conceive a girl said...

Wow, this has to be one of most exciting founding-out-gender stories I've ever heard:) And Ive heard a lot;)

Soaring High said...

You're making me cry! (good cry!) I am so very happy for you. I've been praying you would get the girl that your heart has desired.

Charlie said...

Yay!! I wonder if she will be the toughest little girl ever - or the princess. Yay a little girl. Yay Yay!

Adelia said...

Thanks, friends, for sharing our joy with us!!

Melinda, I know you've heard me weep many times at the thought of not having a daughter ever. Thanks for your support throughout the years.