Wednesday, April 25, 2012

As It Turns Out...I Really Am Pregnant

I know, I know.  I thought I was imagining it too.  But here I sit at 39 weeks expecting my 5th baby.  Yep, this is really happening.

Only over the last few weeks or maybe even couple of months have I been able to focus on being pregnant.  There was just so much going on from the beginning.  I'm finally coming up for breath and most of life is calm right now.  Exhale.  {If you have ever heard Baron Baptiste say exhale, that's what I just said and did.}

I've reached that point in this incubation where movement has become cumbersome, where I am fatigued and have 4 lovely children to tend during the day.  I look forward to getting this baby out but find myself weeping knowing that there will likely never be another baby in my womb again.  {okay, 'nuff of that--the weeping is beginning}

I'm swinging on a pendulum.  As I swing, I move through various thoughts:

  • Oh my goodness gracious, I'm pregnant with my 5th kid and I don't want this to end!
  • Oh my goodness gracious, I'm pregnant with my 5th kid and can't wait to meet this baby!
  • Oh my goodness gracious, I'm so pregnant that I can't move my left leg!
  • Oh my goodness gracious, I don't want to be pregnant again!  
  • Oh my goodness gracious, could we do 6?
Those are just some of the thoughts.  Yes, each does begin with oh my goodness gracious.

I have been having warm up contractions since the end of 36 weeks.  It's exciting that my body is showing signs that it will do it's job.  Of course it will!  Still nice to see it doing its thing.  

We are as ready as it gets to have our home birth.  My birth kit arrived at 36 weeks.  A birth kit consists of all the things you need besides instruments, which the midwife has and brings, that you will need for labor, birth and postpartum care.  Underpads, antiseptics, plastic sheets, ob pads, gloves, herbal bath, birth certificate, baby foot printer, lancet for PKU test (if you want), bulb syringe, baby hat...The list goes on and on.  The beauty is that your midwife usually has a kit set up with what she likes and you can add to it and adjust it as you like and need.

My little birth cabinet is set up.  I have a basket for my care, a basket for my midwife, a basket for baby and a bag for all the stuff after our herbal bath with our nicest softest towels in it and clothes to feel all yummy in as we spend our first few hours together.  Our birth tub is at the ready as well.  

Mentally and spiritually, I've been getting that together too.  I have my bedding set to the side for after we have our bath.  Bedding set to the side for any friends or family who stay the night.  Trying to keep my cabinet well stocked for a crock pot meal that I can toss in when labor starts.  I have some herbal teas ready for after baby arrives.  I made some "ice pads" for perineal care.  I made a tea out of comfrey and added it with some witch hazel to a few pads and put them in the freezer.  That will be soothing for any post delivery soreness.  

We are go for BABY!  Once the baby gets here I have some funds set to the side to get this baby some blue or pink.  I only have a handful of gender neutral clothing.  I didn't want to spend all that money on ugly clothes.  Believe me, some of it is just ugly.  I picked out the cream of the crop.  Did you know they don't just make plain white sock packages?  You get white socks in pink or blue packs but not by themselves, unless you are giving birth to a child like Fred Flintstone.  If so, you can pick up socks for him at Carter's.  Ginormous "newborn" white socks! 

As the days grow closer, not knowing the baby's gender has made me a little nutty.  That nesting really kicks in and you like to have your ducks in a row.  Oh well.  I know when we are the first to really see and announce who our baby is it will be an amazing, new feeling.  

The boys are super excited and declaring this baby a girl.  I always follow up their girl proclamation with, " could be a boy."  The Professor usually becomes thoroughly miffed after that.  However, I've finally  worn the boy down.  After giving me good night love and rubbing the baby in my belly, he said, "Good night.......(pause.......pause).......question mark baby."  Phew.  He finally released it.  Boy or girl.  This kid is going to be wonderful.  

We have a name we are using for both boy and girl.  For girl, it might be the middle name, we are still on the fence.  It's amazing how much knowing your baby's gender plays into your thoughts and naming.  We have a first name for a boy but no middle name.  We also have no intentions of figuring it out until he arrives...if it is a he.  Knowing boy or girl, you start to formulate ideas of who he or she is, who he or she will be.  Having that stay open and unknown really is an interesting experience for us.  

Okay, Little Baby, who are you and when ya comin'?

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