Smiles, Blessings and Freckled Fancies

There Once Was a Monday, Then Came Tuesday

2012-01-17T13:32:00.001-06:00

"They are good children, but they are still children."

Yes, those were my words.

You know, Mondays tend to be good to me. Mondays are a day where we take it easy, get back on track from the weekend. We often do not do school on Mondays since Dad exercises his brain muscles with the boys on the weekend. Mondays are reading days, art days, outside days. Mondays are nice.

But Tuesdays...Tuesdays are a different story.

The Tuesday:
I had to make another trip to the health department for more tests to clear me for home birth. My sweet sister in law watched the kiddos for me the previous week. This Tuesday in the spotlight, she had something come up kind of last minute. My other sister in law was unavailable too. Which left my mother in law as a possible sitter but taking them and dropping them off and picking them up added another 40 minutes to an hour each way to my already long day. Couldn't do that. Then there was Granny but by the time I realized this option, it was too late.

So, to the health department I went with 3 boys and a baby girl. A 2 hour glucose test and a pap smear awaited me. I have had to take my kids with me before. My kids are good. They may act up upon occasion but there is usually not much drama. I was confident in our day ahead. We started the glucose test. Then we were off to get up close in personal in that awesome female way. I said, "Let me just peek on my kids. They are good children, but they are children."

And there they sat, all nice and sweet. Each coloring and behaving beautifully. I gave them an "I'll be out in 10 minutes" heads up and praised them for their behavior.

So I get naked and don my paper gown. That's when I heard the roar of a child. And it kept roaring and intensifying. I knew that frustrated sound, and I knew it was not going to give up any time soon. Then I heard, Boys! Boys! Boys!

Two of my children were in an all out war. One was trying to make the other share and behave, the other was trying to make his point known. They hit each other. No, like HIT each other. My naked bottom jumps up to look out the door and I'm informed of the situation, but the woman said it three times. Like I'm stupid and don't get it. Grrr...

I strip off my paper gown, re-dress and go out in my sock feet to deal with the boys. One is upset because of the fight and the scene that it caused, the second is completely unapologetic. So, child two was taken back with me and sat outside my door.

I get naked again and put on my beautiful paper gown. Then I started crying. I was crying because my kids really are good and they acted like that? I was crying because that's not the real them! I was crying because I felt sorry for myself. If I still lived in Small Town, I would not have had to take my children with me. Which made me think of all the wonderful friends I have and my mother and that I don't have anyone here and no one will give me a chance. Everyone seems to call my mother in law to tattle on me and I just knew this was going to get back. Gah, can't I get a break? Oh, the pity party was awesome. So much so that the nurses heard me crying. One popped in to check on me.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just overwhelmed and frustrated." Yes, that's what I said with a teary smile and a swollen nose. My nose swells when I cry.

Another nurse came in and took my hands. She told me I was fine and the boys were too. That all children have their moments, and that she herself had four. Everyone was great about it. I couldn't have been more blessed given the situation.

That's when she left and then I lost my hearing.

And became very hot.

My lips were tingling.

And I had the equivalent of 30 Mountain Dews racing through my veins from the glucose drink.

Oh, no! was my thought, I'm passing out. Apparently, while listening to the nurse, I stopped breathing in hopes that snot would not run down my nose. Then the beautiful paper gown wouldn't let me breathe because it's not really paper, it has that plastic coating. Could I have a more dramatic presence?

I made the decision to try to get to the sink. I slid my naked butt down slowly then took each step ever so slowly with super bent knees to make the falling distance less intense while holding my arms slightly in a brace like position so that if I did go down, they might actually have stopped me from breaking my nose. I made it to the sink and then leaned over it. Cold water on the wrists, neck, face, through my hair. Get together, girl!

And I did. My woman finally came in for my inspection and it was the most gently pap I've had. I throw that in there to give some victory to the story. That and the fact that my sugar is awesome! Seriously, I'm the healthiest fat woman in the world. One day my body will reflect my habits! Now that I know all my hormone issues and stuff, I'm hoping I'll get on track after this baby.

All that to say, Tuesday comes only once a week. Thankfully Tuesdays like that come around hardly ever. Part of the joys of motherhood, some days are stellar, some are knock down drag outs. We press on. Whether we wear high heels or paper gowns. We're moms and we love our kids.

I Believe in Someday...

2012-01-05T07:30:00.000-06:00

I woke up at 5 a.m. with my cheeks wet from crying. I had been crying in my sleep. You see, I'm an over thinker. As an over thinker, I had made a goal this year to become a "focused" thinker. You know that verse in Matthew that says, Do not worry about tomorrow; for each day will care for itself. Each day has trouble of its own? Ya, well, that verse doesn't bring me peace. It makes me freak out. What? Tomorrow is going to have its own trouble, its own set of worries? Great. Just.Stinking.Great.

I had been doing well in my focused thinking endeavor. If a thought popped up that didn't belong to me, I envisioned myself plucking the thought from my mind and handing it to the Lord. (I learned that technique in yoga. Pluck your thoughts. I added the give it to God thing.) All was going well. Here we are on the 5th day of the month without much drama. Until this morning. Apparently, focused thinking doesn't count in dreams.

I woke up hurting for the world, for my world and angry at the "Body of Christ." Count it all joy...Don't tell me how to count joy. I grew up thinking I had a great life a life despite the fact that it was really made up of poverty, lack of food, lack of electricity, a house falling apart and I still woke up everyday with joy. I went to school and laughed and saw my world as good. I watched my mother live everyday trying to make it beautiful when everything she wanted was denied her and her children. Married to an abusive, neglectful husband who kept her trapped. All she ever wanted to be was a wife and mother, and that dream became an ugly joke.

After my mother finally left my dad, she was alone. Providing for three kids alone. My mom asked for help getting our house kind of put together because it was so destroyed by my dad's many fits. There was a ministry through our church that provided these services and no one ever came. But they went to the fancy lady's house and tinkered in there for her. Where was the Body of Christ? We didn't have windows because my dad was always throwing something or someone. And the Body was quiet.

I have watched my mother repeatedly give her last dollars to someone in need. She works in a position at the hospital where she often prays with or for her patients. She gave a lady money for her child's Christmas or was it birthday or both, I can't remember. Not from the Angel Tree, but a lady who was in a waiting room broken for many reasons. My mom loved on her. She often receives cards and letters about how speaking with her really got them through their day. She is a good woman. She loves the Lord and serves the hurting world. She is so, so not perfect, but she is wonderful.

Her van is not working. We have reached out to the Body to have it fixed. Is there anyone with any tinkering skills to help us? We'll pay, but can we do it for less than $2K? Oh, yes. We've had many say they will and now 4 months later we have given up. The goal of fixing it was to not have to buy a new car and have that debt right now. The van is paid for. Very appealing to just fix. So now we're just going to get a new car. Great. Who doesn't like another monthly bill?

But apparently this morning I was overwhelmed by the "Body of Christ." I sit and watch people squander their money on vacations, gadgets and gizmos and then they need a car or can't pay their electric and put it out there that they are in need and watch the flood gates open. Why? Why do some people struggle and then some get to play and then have others wipe their noses for them after they make terrible financial decisions?

I think the Body often serves the "cool" people. Seriously. Who are you trying to impress with your acts of service? How will this make you look to them? I find it ridiculous today. We wonder why Christianity is on a decline. I see the contradiction, not just in my mom's story, but in others' stories everyday. Christians used to be "good" people. Now, we're the judgmental, the snobby, the legalistic people. Where is the love?

Romans 12 speaks to me. Let love be genuine...Outdo one another in showing honor...Serve the Lord...Seek to show hospitality...Weep with those who weep...

Do you know my Dad has it made these days? He sits on some council with his city. He has a nice little house with a nice little wife who hates my very existence. I love my God. I know His word. But there are days that it just doesn't make sense. How does someone so bad prosper? So, I weep upon occasion. I trust my God. But I hurt for my mother. I try to give these burdens to the Lord, but I always take them back. God, send my mother someone to walk with her, to love her as she has always wanted to be loved and taken care of. My mother just had surgery and do you know who was there by her? Me. Me and my kids. Despite everyone she loves on and takes care of, it was just me. I'm so tired of watching my mother hurt and feeling like I'm supposed to fix it. God, send her someone!

And then after I finished crying about that this morning, I started crying because I spent so much time being selfish, focused on how wronged I was, how wronged my family, my mother is by the "Body". And I thought of how there is some woman trapped in a relationship or being trafficked for sex and she wishes she only had my problems, that she had my mother's. There is a child out there that has no food today. There is a woman out there that wishes she had a mother to weep over. I hurt for our world. I pray for our world. And then I weep some more. You see, I truly am an over thinker.

Yes, I'm afraid my heart is heavy this morning. I almost didn't post this for fear all of my friends would think I am in some sort of emotional funk. No, I think that most people have a day or two in their lives where they overwhelmed by something, for someone. It's okay. That's why I chose to share. To normalize the burdens we sometimes carry.

I think that verse in Matthew should say, Do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow, God is there. That would be much better. Somehow, someway...God is.

Makes me think of this found on the wall from WWII written by a Jew in a concentration camp. My heart shivers when I read the words, My heart cries for shelter, to know someone's there...

"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there's no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.

I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone's there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I'll give you strength,
I'll give you hope. Just stay a little while.

I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there's no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.

May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace...."

Then I see my children and am reminded of the beauty of our world even in its ugliness.
I believe in someday...

Mountaineering: A Pictorial Review

2011-12-22T07:52:00.000-06:00

It seems as though I don't post any pictures any longer. I've just been lazy. This is a pictorial review of what are life looks like since we moved to the mountains in September. These pictures truly illustrate the "why" behind our move. Our boys' lives are full of ingenuity and newness everyday. Boys need sticks and rocks and trees.

T-Bird has become a master at catching critters. It took him a few days to be able to catch lizards at will, but he has it down pat now.

Professor X is illustrating how low the Air Force jet was when it flew over. The Air Force uses these mountains and valleys for training. One minute peaceful and the next there is a jet or plane so close overhead it seems you could touch it. My boys love it.

The kids come into my room every morning and we open the window to watch the sun rise. I treasure these morning moments with them.

Hoot giving an Air Force account.

Lots of hiking.

Lady Bug's favorite meal...rocks...

Mountain Baby.

It happens.

Lots of teepee making.

Hoot found a "skateboard".

It snew! {past tense for snow. use it. enjoy it. snew!}

Despite seeing elk nearly always, we are still easily impressed by them.

Snow baby with a fresh cut from jumping off the counter and landing into the table. Gag. That's a story for another time.

Building their first fire at our Red House for s'mores and hot dogs. The snow had already melted on this side of the mountain.

Blurry picture, but they were making torches.

This is why I get little blogging done. Lady Bug sits on my desk and types away with me. I call her my little bird.

Shoveling snow ONTO the walk. Seriousl, kid?

Our snow lasted for over a week! Fun start to December!

Alaina's Birth. A Home Birth. Our Story.

2011-12-20T07:41:00.000-06:00

Well, after a year and 3 days I'm finally writing Alaina's birth story. At first, I wanted to keep it to myself. I would tell you our story, but I wasn't ready to write it. Then it became a time thing. Then an I need to edit and enhance my photos thing. Then an energy thing. Then an Alaina won't stay off my hip or out of my lap thing. So, here it is. Perhaps not as refined as I would have liked and still no photo editing, but it is finally here.

Let's get to the warning:
**Warning: This post is about the labor and birth of a baby. After careful thought, I have decided to post all the details of our day. All pictures should be okay by every one's standards but we did have a couple of pieces of conversation that may offend some and is not of the usual content here. Read at your own risk and do not judge.****Next warning: This is our story, please be kind. Every woman's birth story is amazing whether birthed at home naturally, in the hospital or through your nose. Just enjoy our journey as we did.**

Alaina's birth was to be our fourth delivery. Previously, we had our babies in the hospital, however we were lead down another path with this baby. A path that was unfamiliar to us but it was also somehow a welcome, comfortable path. A home birth. I had expected to be terrified to have my baby at home, but the moment came and fear never even entered into my being. I attribute this to educating myself by devouring everything out there about birth and lots of prayer. {Click HERE to read about why we chose home birth}

Around 3 a.m. that Thursday morning, I was awakened by a wet feeling. I knew immediately that familiar sensation--I was loosing my mucous plug--the signal for me as in my two previous labors that baby was arriving that day.

I gave Brett a nudge to give him a heads up of what his day was going to look like. As much as I wanted to rest, I could not. I took my pillows and headed to the living room and watched a movie with my rump in the air and swaying my hips through the mild contractions. I was hoping early labor would stretch out a bit. I had some ducks to get in a row.

My mind was a little overwhelmed. My friends who were taking the boys during labor said Thursday was a bad day for them. I called my midwife at 8 a.m. and asked if she had anything special going on for the day and she said, "Uh, I do now" and we both laughed. She had some massages scheduled and let me know to call her when I was ready and she would go forward with them unless notified.

Brett went on to work. I reached my friends and we worked out a plan for the boys. My contractions seemed to regulate a bit more. I did laundry and vacuumed. My midwife called to check in on me off and on. Around 10 a.m. I called Brett to ask him to come home. I didn't want to be alone. He was slightly thrilled that I called him home. I was laying down when he came in and said, "So, what? You wanna have sex?" And then we both laughed hysterically. {Perhaps that's not funny to anyone else, but it was extremely funny to us}

He went on and gathered the boys. They began putting up the birthing tub and filling it. Boys, men--they need a project and this was a perfect way for them to be involved. Tristan, Alex and Isaac finished helping and then we fed everyone lunch. By this time my contractions were mostly gone. Maybe one every 15 or 20 minutes and were just twinges. I think this was my body, my mind preventing full labor. I wasn't ready. The boys were still there, my mom couldn't leave work yet and my midwife had massages {that she would have left, but that I wanted her to be able to finish}. I was also reeeeaaallly excited. I think all that helped slow things down.

My very loved friend and new midwife apprentice, Dana, offered to come by and sit with me if I wanted her to do so. She came in just as my friends, Pete and Jill, came to get the boys for an afternoon of fun. Okay, the boys were off, so let's have a baby! Except, where did my contractions go? I told Dana how they were tapering off then mentioned my husband's crude humor when he came home from work. We laughed and then she said, "You know, that's not a bad idea." After a bit of discussing the benefits, we decided to give it a try. She said she had to run some errands and would be back later. To call if we needed anything. I went to Brett and told him I had decided to take him up on his previous offer. He was shocked but willing.

I am telling you. As soon as our time together was over, I went to the bathroom, sat down and began having contractions. I said, "Um, Brett, call everyone, I've just had 3 contractions back to back. And by contractions, I mean contractions."

This was around 3 p.m. Brett was in the kitchen tooling around doing this and that to make life more comfortable for me. I slipped into the birthing tub and was just enjoying this time alone with my husband. He had Jack Johnson's Brushfire Fairytales on for me and had tied a pillow case with an ice pack to the handle on the pool to make it easy for me to grab if I needed it. He had my water and a bowl in case I needed to throw up ready. It was such a sweet time of us just hanging out being together. Him and me and a baby on the way. We had a time of prayer together, to pray in agreement. Precious.

Yes, I gave birth in my kids "schoolroom".

My midwife and her apprentice arrived around 3:30. She checked me and I was at a 6!! A 6! I have never been at a 6 without an epidural! Are you kidding me? I was in a pool of water laughing and enjoying all that was going on, never dreaming I was at a 6! I was having difficulty regulating my breathing through contractions and my midwife's apprentice helped me and then we were good again. My mom arrived shortly after. Okay, now we really can have a baby!

I stayed in a knee-lean over the side position while swaying my hips the whole time. That was what was comfortable to me so that's what I did. My focus stayed on keeping everything open down low and not tightening up. {I'll go ahead and say it, I did awesome where this was concerned. Much to my surprise.} I kept my sounds low except for at one point I let out a little shriek and my midwife gently said, "Ah, keep it low." And we were back on track again.

Here and there I would take a sip of water or a crunch of ice. My midwife walked over to me, cut a slice of apple and gave it to me. My midwife and her apprentice sat at my kitchen table, took notes ate some lasagna and chicken pot pie from my fridge, whispered occasionally. Everyone was just kind of hanging out letting me do my thing.

Around 4:30 p.m. my contractions became intense. I felt out of sorts, like I was not in control. They were just so strong and difficult. I let my midwife know that I thought I was loosing my grip on this, and she said I was fine to just go with it. I let out a hearty "Argh" and the room erupted in laughter. In my attempt not to curse, I ended up sounding like a pirate. During this time, Brett is applying hot packs from the crock pot to my low back while pressing really hard. {I had bruises the next day and he was so upset, but I asked him and needed him to press that hard} Dana was running her hands over my shoulders and neck while I held my mom's hand.

This is my midwife and Brett serving me.

Dana and Mom. Me with my head on my ice pack pillow case.

The Forehead Press

I started feeling really nauseated around 4:50 and my midwife gave my a homeopathic something to hold under my tongue and it helped greatly. My labor intensified and my moans became louder. It's at this point that the world around me disappeared. In my mind it was just Brett and me. I pressed my head into his and he was awesome. It's like he knew I needed him to press back with equal measure. I would bite his shirt and pull backwards through contractions. I was hoping I was not biting him but also didn't have the extra resolve to care if I was or not. He was just there for me, letting me use him. Gosh, I love that guy.

I did not want to curse in my labor. But, oh my goodness, how I wanted to. I had my head down and looked up to see Dana's face. "DANA, DANA" I said in the most low and gutteral, horrible way. And with each Dana, she said in such a sweet way, "Yes?" "Yes." Oh, nothing. Just saying your name...and loosing it a bit.

Just when the contractions got so intense I thought that I would break, they would release me. My midwife only checked me twice. Once when I was a 6 and again at 8. She said I would be pushing soon. I know she was monitoring me, my sounds, my movements--it was just neat to have that kind of care and observance.

I said I felt like pushing. My midwife said to give it a go. "But what if I'm not fully dilated?" She said, "Give a tiny push, if it hurts stop and don't do it again for a while." I gave a push and it felt good. I had prayed for my water to stay intact until the last. I had been giving little pushes and then felt my water break. I told the room it just happened. My midwife's apprentice said, "Are you sure? That's the cleanest water I've seen. Oh, yep, it did break." {somehow I have a sense of pride about having the cleanest water she'd ever seen--haha} The lights were low and they had these little flashlights in the water. Being late fall, the sun sets around 5:30. We were just after 5 p.m.

I was so concerned about pausing and letting the baby be born slowly, I had even asked for them to remind me. I gave a good push and Alaina's head began to peep and with one more push the baby's head and rest of the body was in the water! What? I had intended to flip over to catch my baby. This kid just swam out. And truly, that's what it felt like. One moment I was full and pushing, the next a sweet relief washed over me. The baby was out. Alaina Corrine was born at 5:23 p.m.

Sweet relief, yet a grimace from the after birth contractions

Laughing at my snorting baby girl.

I love this picture. Because I know my husband and was there, I know he's teary {like all our baby births}, I'm explaining I'm happy but distracted by the annoying after birth contractions still, and Dana is laughing and enjoying it all.

The towels had just been put in to warm and now they were being taken out just seconds after being put in. This girl wanted out. I flipped over and held my baby. She was so alert, raised her little head and starting snorting and sucking her hand. I was trying to concentrate on her preciousness, but I was having difficult contractions leading up to the placenta being expelled. We waited for around 30 minutes for that thing. I was in a lot of pain. These type of contractions are annoying. They hurt and don't give a baby. It's the placenta. Important. But annoying. My midwife finally gave me another homeopathic something and moments later my placenta was out. We delayed cord clamping of course.

Once all that was taken care of, we were off to bed to transition and then Alaina and I enjoyed a bath together. Well, I enjoyed it. She wanted to nurse and could care less about our herbal bath.

Baby inspection.

My best friend with my baby.

Dana did mention that when I said her name as I did that she knew I was really cussing. Well, ya, I guess so. But what are best friends for?

Shortly afterward, we called for the boys to come home. They walked in knowing we had a girl and not liking it. Then seeing her, they became hers forever. My sweet family. All together.

That's our Laina Baby Story.

The hardest and easiest thing I've ever done in my life.

5 Things

2011-12-01T10:10:00.003-06:00

5 Things You Don't Know About Me:

1. I like my hair long but cannot stand for it to touch my neck or face. It spends most of it time up in a pony tail or twist. Each of my classes in high school began with me putting my hair up with a pencil. Apparently, my hair being down interfered with the brainwaves functioning properly.

2. I would like to sing (well) in front of a group of people one day.

3. I hate to be scared. It's no fun at all. I don't do scary movies or haunted houses. That's a guarantee for me to throw up from the sheer anxiety of what I think will happen.

4. I often break into dance much to the horror of my children.

5. I would like to learn to play the violin/fiddle depending on the audience as to which I play.

5 Things I'm Knowledgeable About:

1. I'm an expert in procrastination. Trying to become more of a slacker instead of expert. Tough to overcome especially when I keep putting it off until tomorrow.

2. I know a thing or two about good music. Good music makes the world go 'round.

3. I know how to laugh at myself.

4. I consider myself gifted in the art of being a momma to boys. To me boys are more than noise or dirty little creatures getting into trouble. Boys are awesome!

5. Directions. I have the best sense of direction in the world! Even Brett is impressed with my mad skills. Take me with you and you'll never be lost again!

5 Things I Know Nothing About:

1. Advanced math, chemistry, physics. My brain will not go there. It did well enough in school to get a B but that doesn't mean that my brain got it or ever will. Brett will sometimes drift off into complicated physics talk and I feel by body stopping all function and only comes back after all that physics talk has ceased.

2. Baking bread. Oh, how I want to attempt it, but I just can't bring myself to use something besides the bread machine. I am afraid to mess up. Baking bread is like advanced math to me. I just don't get it and am afraid to. I've made a goal to tackle this fear and lack of knowledge this winter. Pray for me.

3. Being quiet. I'm loud. Not nearly as loud as I once was but I am still prone to the occasional public outburst of excitement, the laugh that is a little too loud when surrounded by my girlfriends, the hearty grunt as I lift Lady Bug and myself into the truck (which is currently missing its side running boards). As I'm climbing into the truck with the girl to nurse her after we leave Hobby Lobby, I give a groan. Brett laughs and says, "Good to know you do that in public too." Huh? "You are loud." Ya, so. I'm pregnant, getting in with your eleven month old and this stinking Suburban isn't low to the ground. Ya, everyone needs to know my situation.

4. How to enjoy clothing shopping for myself. I hate trying on clothes. Lifelong problem. Never have, never will.

5. Giving up. I'm a perpetual believer in second chances, tomorrow, and dreams coming true.

5 Things I Believe:

1. I believe in bare feet. Life is better without the restraint of shoes.

2. Being kind. #1 rule in our house. If you're mean to me, I'll kill you with kindness. You know the hateful cashier at the store. Oh ya, killed her bad attitude with kindness. Sometimes, they return the good attitude, sometimes not. But I always walk away feeling victorious. Wanna change the world? Be kind to someone when you don't feel like it.

3. The closest to heaven you will ever be on this earth is when you are around a new baby.

4. A good walk always gives way to a new perspective.

5. Opposites make the best couples. Perfect example, Brett and myself.

{This was part of a writing workshop from Mama Kat}

Why I Chose a Home Birth

2011-11-16T05:35:00.004-06:00

{This is my journey. It is not meant to make anyone feel uncomfortable or wrong. Every one's birth story is special. Whether the baby came out the old fashioned way or through your nose. Please just enjoy our adventure with us.}

First off, I am not the home birthing type. Seriously. I had never read any pre-baby book besides What to Expect When You're Expecting and that was just because someone had given it to me. *If you own What to Expect When You're Expecting, please trash it now. What a silly, unhelpful book.* Back to who I was before our home birth choice. I never questioned how babies came out. You go to the hospital and push out your baby. That's it. That's all I cared to know and trusted that's how it all went down.

With my first baby, I was 21. Gosh, that's young. Anyway, I was gonna have my baby. {You can imagine a big smile and starry eyes here} I went in for my first prenatal and the popular Dr walks in, claps his hands together and says with a laugh, Okay, take off all your clothes. Hahahaha. Just kidding. Um, I am a modest person. Even an immodest person would have cringed or at least decked him. So, I transferred to the new physician in the office. At least his was much kinder and didn't have a raunchy sense of humor.

With our first baby we didn't want to know the gender. But my kinder physician took a look at the baby with a sonogram and told us what we were having anyway. And that was the beginning of no one listening to me. We wanted a natural birth and to not be induced. Remember, I had not taken the initiative to educate myself. I was trusting my physician to stand up for me. *You cannot do this. Home birth or hospital birth. Please read and educate yourself. At least you can make informed decisions. Learn from my naivete.*

Tristan was a week overdue. My Dr wanted to induce. I was fighting him. Brett was standing with me. Then he pulled the it's safer for your baby...he's just getting bigger...it's dangerous for him to stay in...And because I wanted to be the best momma possible, I caved. They did the non stress test, which went without a hitch, and monitored me for contractions. Surprise, I was having tiny contractions. I just didn't know what they were. New sensations and all. My body was getting ready on it's own. Hind sight, I would have said no induction. But sweet little old people pleasing me went on ahead.

I was so excited to get my baby. I went in with stars still in my eyes. The Dr broke my water immediately. {insert the hindsight gasp here} Then started me on pitocin--which he asked for the max dosage. I ended up having contractions that lasted so long, they just wouldn't stop. I was exhausted and the baby seemed to be moving up instead of down. After me just being in extreme pain and exhausted, I consented to an epidural. I fell asleep and about three hours later a nurse woke me up to check me. Um, the baby was coming out! Thanks for not checking on me earlier!! Then Baby Tristan's heart rate showed signs of distress. After 15 minutes of pushing, the Dr said if he didn't come out in the next two pushes that would use a vacuum. There are more details to this, but if you've read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, she sums it up in her writing on the topic of inductions and pitocin. I cried when I read those paragraphs. I didn't know. It's my fault for not educating myself. It's my Dr's fault for not taking better care of us.

The Dr actually warned me as Tristan was crowning that he may not be breathing but that was okay. (!!) Baby Tristan came out ticked off. What a wail! For good reason. I'm so thankful for the protection over him and his birth. We made so many mistakes. And the last insult to our injury was that the Dr pulled on my placenta and blood went everywhere. You DO NOT do that. And then he said that my placenta was rotting and that was why T's heart rate was in distress and why that blood gushed everywhere. Ya, that's why. The high dose of pitocin, lack of monitoring and yanking my placenta out had nothing to do with it.

Ironically, I was still starry eyed and trusting.

Alex was born 3 years and 5 days later. I had terrible prenatal care and hated my Dr. Once again, he was billed as the best and most popular. I was very sick and would faint throughout my pregnancy with Alex. I told my Dr this repeatedly and he was not concerned. I finally had another Dr check it out and my pancreas was shutting down, I was dehydrated (from throwing up constantly) and anemic on top of a host of other things, but these are the things that stand out now. I did not want my Dr to deliver this baby. I didn't trust him. I went into labor on my own this time--I remember being so excited that I let out a happy squeal when I lost my mucous plug. I was already feeling victorious. Whoa baby! Real contractions are nothing like the minutes long pitocin induced contractions. The Dr on call would end up becoming my OB. Dr B, love him! So kind. So gentle. So thorough. Alex was born with a head full of white hair. Dr B didn't clean the baby. He caught Alex and immediately put him on my chest. He gave us time and it's like the nurses knew to not interrupt. My placenta delivered on its own with very little bleeding. In hindsight, I see that Dr B was an advocate for gentler births. The only thing I can find issue with is that he did break my water as well. We were in and out of the hospital in 20 hours or so. It was a good birth experience.

Isaac, our little imp, came into our lives 17 months later. I had great prenatal care. Dr B is a wonderful, competent physician. As the due date approached, I became very overwhelmed with hope that Dr B would be the physician on call. I woke up at 1 am to the familiar loss of mucous plug which signaled the beginning of labor with Alex. I was excited again! And then I realized, Dr B was not on call. Dr C was. Dr C was a lady. Dr C ends up being the Dr that made me look outside the hospital for an alternative birth.

Dr C broke my water, and I don't know what that woman did, but it felt like I had been stabbed with a knife. So much so that I shrieked and screamed. That should was the warning of things to come. I had been told by the nurses not to deliver anytime soon because they had two c-sections to perform. Great. I did get an epidural with Isaac as well. It was a light epidural. I could still feel the contractions and the baby coming down. I told the nurse that I needed to push. They called Dr C. Dr C was in the hallway where my mother and family friend were. She said to stall me so she could go have lunch. I started feeling like I was going to burst. I told the nurse I had to push now--that I could feel the baby and he was hurting me! Not in the normal pain--we were being harmed. She placed her had over me and said, "Please don't. If there is a shoulder issue, I don't know how to deal with it."

After a full 30 minutes and me in tears, Dr C arrived with a smile while I was in visioning kicking her in the face. Issac came out head and all with the one and only push. Isaac had swallowed quite a bit of fluids and there was quite a bit of meconium in them. By the end of the night, Isaac had to have his tummy pumped because he was having so much trouble.

Dr C does this tick with her tongue. She speaks, ticks, speaks, ends with a tick. While we're waiting for my placenta to deliver, she was ticking. And she too pulled my placenta out. SO DANGEROUS. I did loose quite a bit of blood. It took them a while to stop the bleeding. The nurses were very concerned. The Dr said I was bleeding so much because I was a red head. {It is my fault for not educating. It is her fault for being impatient and reckless.}

After going home, I began to realize that I could not urinate without extreme pain. I sat in a sitz bath of scalding hot water just to go to the bathroom. I called Dr B to have it checked out. Turns out, because Baby Isaac was stalled in the delivery process he rubbed a sore inside of me. When Dr B found out what happened he was horrified and apologetic. I appreciated his kindness but knew right then, if we ever had another child, I could not count on him to be the on call Dr.

I heard the local midwife speak with a panel on women's health. That started the gears turning. We found out that I was pregnant with Alaina and I felt at a loss. I knew I couldn't do the hospital again. We went and spoke with the midwife, J, and had all of our questions answered. We had A LOT. Brett went into that meeting on the fence. He came out and said, "I think you should home birth." I went to my OB for an ultra-sound. Between Isaac's and Alaina's pregnancies, we had had a miscarriage. Miscarriages make you jumpy. I just wanted to see or know the baby inside was alive and well. Dr B verified everything for us. He had left the practice he was at and was now just focusing on GYN. He asked who I would be using for this pregnancy and I told him we were considering home birth. He said he thought I was a great candidate for home birth and gave his approval.

Two things solidified my resolve in the home birth decision. One was my risk assessment. To see a licensed midwife, you have to have a risk assessment. I went to see a nurse/midwife called P. P was awesome. But the risk assessment caught me off guard. It didn't only include the usual tests that you get with your first prenatal visit. No, she had to look at my gums and pound on my kidneys and host of other things. You see, all of those things could indicate a complication or pre-term labor. I felt like this is something that needs to happen in regular clinic visits for hospital births. That's when I began realizing the difference in the midwifery model of care vs. the ob/gyn model. My risk assessment, my prenatal visits were such whole visits. Not just waiting for something to go awry but preventing it, being aware while still recognizing this as a normal function of the woman's body.

The second thing that made me confident in our choice was educating myself. J has bookshelves full of books that she lets her clients check out. I read until I couldn't read anymore. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth {second half} was the straw that made this camel stand up taller. I felt like she was every woman's grandmother imparting wisdom and encouragement. Knowledge destroyed every fear I had leading up to Alaina's birth. The day I went into labor, I never thought what if?, I thought let's do this!

So for those who thought I was crazy or am crazy, I say don't blame me, blame my OB's. I understand not everyone agrees, but I do ask that you read and research before you argue with some one's choice to have a home birth. Usually a home birther has done the research and is not making some off the wall decision. We care about our babies and families. We are doing what is right for us. And I'll say this. I would love to be a home birth advocate, but that's unrealistic. I am a gentle birth advocate. There is so much we can do to make the birth process simpler, safer, and gentler no matter where you have your baby. I have hard feelings toward the OB's who took my pregnancy and babies for granted, but I'm also thankful in a way that they helped open my eyes.

Pieces of Me

2011-11-15T05:28:00.002-06:00

I have a good life. Really. But my life would make some women cringe and wither. I mean, I'm currently living on a mountain in the middle of no where in a {maybe} 900 sq ft house that contains 4 children while incubating another that is due around the time we hope to move into our big house next spring. But I get to be around my children every day. Every moment. Yes, sometimes that makes me gasp for air, but mostly it makes my heart sing.

I never knew this piece of me existed before I met Brett. I had convinced myself I would never marry and that I could not have children. Not would not, could not. I think that just comes from my tumultuous childhood. Just didn't want to be a parent, didn't think I could be. I thought I'd live as a single woman all of my days with my dog and fish in some big city working as linguist traveling to Europe, the Middle East and Japan.

When Brett and I were first twitter-pated with one another, he said he wanted 4 or 5 kids. Um...I said the max would be 2. Here we are expecting number 5. It just amazes me that that piece I never knew existed, surfaced and was healed.

Now, my real future and present is me being a momma. I've not jetted around the world. There are times that I still dream in Japanese. I wake up excited and disappointed. A piece of me mourns that never realized future. But then I look at my bed filled sleeping imps--a baby girl and two little boys who infiltrated during the night. Brett, still in a deep sleep, unaware that one of the boys has thrown his leg across Brett's chest. If I was given a glimpse of both futures, I hope that glimpse would have contained the feeling that swells in my chest when I see my family. That feeling of THIS is IT, this is what life is about.

It's about the stuffy noses, the cups of drinks that get spilled, the arguments among brothers, the bad attitudes and sleep rebellion. It's also the sweet cuddles and smiles, the helping hands while making brownies, the giggles among the same brothers, the fort building genius, and sweet good night songs and kisses.

Yes, this mothering piece of me would squash that other potential future. I still hope to see Japan--just with my kids in tow. You know, we homeschool--living education and all that jazz...

We went to Ft Smith this past weekend to see the Nina and Pinta replicas that are sailing through. I am not a Ft Smith fan. I think of it as generally dirty and dangerous. To this mountain dwelling woman, the site of the River Valley was most welcoming. The air carried with it a bit of familiar, the horizon didn't have a mountain in sight. A piece of me, the Central Arkansas piece of me came alive. I became quite the chatter box. If you think I talk a lot now, you should come back home with me.

There is a piece of me that comes alive when I think of flat land, hot, sweltering summers, deep accents that go back generations, four wheeling at night, trucks with lifts. Yep, that redneck side of me comes alive.

I never drive home, especially at night. Usually it's because these dang roads make me so sick, but after our romp in the River Valley I couldn't quiet my spirit. Talking and driving while Brett dozed on and off. A piece of me that had laid dormant for too long was alive! My voice was starting to give toward the end, the result of not talking then suddenly awakening my voice.

If we were in the position to just buy any home we wanted, we would buy a house on the lake in Heber Springs. One with a basement two stories underground. You see, the biggest reason we don't live that direction is the tornadoes. I hate tornadoes. Yes, they could happen here, but it's less likely. There, it is guaranteed. The second thing that keeps me away is my terrible fear of the New Madrid fault line. Yep, I enjoy moonlighting as a conspiracy theorist and I know that thing is going to go. I feel even here is a little too close for comfort.

But this piece of me, unlike the business woman piece, that may never be realized and I want it to be. I miss it. My trips back are too few and far in between. This piece of me hopes to awaken again soon.

And then there is the piece of me that lies quiet on purpose. That piece of me stays here, awake, with me as I'm typing. It's the piece that says, sure I'll move to Newton County where I have no friends and the nearest grocery store is over an hour away and I'm guaranteed to throw up on the way home because I'm so car sick.

So, that piece endures. Endures the FB updates of her friends and posts of "had such a great time with so and so" and knows that if she hadn't moved, her name would be there or we would be in a set tagged photos. FB is like watching my life go by before me. The piece that said sure let's go seems to just press on, but also misses her friends. This piece is getting by and hasn't really cried about her loss. Then we went on the field trip to the battlefield and saw a few of my closest friends. That was followed by a couple of fantastic phone conversations from friends I hadn't talked to since the move. The week that followed was really emotionally rough. Just on the inside, I was turning and turning the emotions. That quiet piece was growing sad and uneasy. This piece of me worries about how long this long distance thing will work.

Friendships are built on commonalities and life experiences shared together. How long can that go on if you see each other every three months or so?

This piece of me is hopeful that I'll make friends here. But at the same time, this piece is also unwilling to put myself out there. I've already been at the end of the gossip chain concerning my parenting skills and homeschooling ability here. This piece of me is becoming hardened. In my immediate area, the nicest people have been the atheists, the hippies and the Jehovah's Witness. So, this piece of me is really feeling like I'll not have any vested friendships. Of course, this feeling is marred by the fact that our vehicles have been malfunctioning since we moved here. Once that is straightened out, I plan on meeting up with a lady I seem to have quite a bit in common with. Transportation has not been on our side.

This is where I've been the last couple of weeks. Struggling with this piece of myself. Finally cried about it this weekend. Not just a tear or watering in my eyes but a good sob. Self pity is repulsive and I took a good swim in it Saturday morning. Picking myself up out of the muck and trusting that the Lord is holding this piece of me. Knowing what I need and who I need.

These are just a few pieces of me that have come out recently. Aren't we a complicated creation?

Homeschool Files: Field Tripping--Owls and Battlefields

2011-11-09T08:17:00.006-06:00

The boys were able to attend a field trip with the "local" homeschool group. By local, I mean we only drove an hour and 20 minutes instead of an hour and 45 minutes. I was a little nervous meeting new moms, a new group, new people...But they were so welcoming and kind.

We headed to Lake Dardanelle where a park ranger taught us about owls, and we dissected owl pellets. My friends know that I have a fascination with owls, so this was such a welcome lesson. The boys loved using their brushes and tweezers to extract the bones. They took turns being the excavator, the cleaner and the identifier. Professor X loved being the identifier. Our owl enjoyed a dinner of a bird (we had part of its head with beak attached) and a mouse. Yum!

The visitor center at Lake Dardanelle is wonderful, filled with aquariums containing local fish, lots of sensory stations, even a station where you can terrorize, I mean touch turtles, a bee hive, and more. My kids spent a good deal of time in there.

Oh, here's another picture of the therapeutic owl pellet dissection. Seriously, they got into this lulling zone. I need to order some just for meltdowns.
And you know that my kids put their bones in a plastic baggie and brought them home. Oh yes, they did--we still have them.

I should mention that these aquariums showcase why I don't swim in rivers or lakes.

Those! Those! They are why I don't swim in our waters.
We went and played at a playground near the lake. Well the boys played while I got to know the ladies who are so very, very nice. Some have familiar Southern accents that make me homesick. By homesick, I mean my childhood home, where it's flat and we all talk the same and don't think twice about it.

My T asked if he could play near the lake. I granted his request knowing full well he was going to get a little wet. It's T plus water. It's guaranteed. However, the lake seemed to somehow swallow him and his brothers. My children were the only children drenched. I wasn't surprised but I wasn't pleased either. We had a long drive home including a stop to pick up food. They smelled wonderful. {dripping with sarcasm} Anyway, on to happier thoughts...

Last week, we attended a field trip at Prairie Grove Battlefield with our former local homeschool group filled with some of our favorite people.

Lady Bug was loose for part of the field trip being sweetie baby cutie cutie.

Okay, so we have a confession. We have been on this field trip before. Like 2 years ago, I think. At that trip, the man, same man pictured below, called for a volunteer and my T-Bird was the only one who raised his hand.

Wellllll, he had been practicing all week before this trip on his hand raising skills in case they called for a volunteer again. He even went so far as to have me call for a volunteer and he would raise his hand.

Sooooo, that explains why he is the volunteer here. I let him have his fun. We'll not be part of this group next year. His last hoorah.
My soldier boy.

He looks a little too much like Dopey. My little dwarf.
It's been tough having the kids around other kids--or lack or rather. We're not used to that, but we're making it. We enjoyed our time with both groups and are very thankful for them.

The Good Report

2011-10-25T09:49:00.002-05:00

I am a little ashamed at how long it has been since I've given a Good Report--my accounting of the beautiful ordinaries that I find extraordinary. Let's get to it!

1. The clouds' shadows on the mountains.

2. Baby girl's first steps.

3. Hoot's unruly determination which will hopefully serve him well one day.
{He has been jumping off our porch railing which is at least 7 ft tall. I didn't believe it when T told me about it. Hoot: Yes, I can jump off! Watch. I won't get dead. Then he jumps off the porch, crosses his arms like he's big stuff and says, See, told ya I wouldn't get dead. Then he starts around the porch again and says, I've been wanting to flip... It took me 30 minutes and a little of Brett's persuasion to get that thought out of his head.}

4. Friendships that stand the distance and absence of face to face conversations. Phone calls, letters and emails. Thankful for the friends who won't let the mountains swallow me up.

5. Quiddler and Pictureka. Two card games that seem to reset any mood the boys may have.

6. Music boxes.

7. Professor X's quick wit.

8. T-Birds ever changing collection of critters.

9. The tapestry of fall's colors.

10. Hot cocoa.

Have I Ever Told You About Missus Gilgrease?

2011-09-23T08:32:00.005-05:00

I'm a walking contradiction. I am a rather loud person, yet I don't like to ruffle feathers of the powers that be. You would think a loud person would be a raucous raiser, but I'm not. I would rather poke out my own eyeballs than break a rule. Nauseating, I know.

The times in my life that I've broken rules or somehow landed in trouble are seared into my memory bank, never to be extracted. Never, ever to be extracted.

I went to kindergarten in a suburb of Dallas. I don't know how I survived school there. A 5 year old in a honkin' huge school. School buses forever. Everyday I prayed I would make it on to the right bus. I still have anxiety over it.

I can remember my first introduction to my now addiction. Books. Library. Books. Our class went to the library for the first time, and I was overwhelmed by it's beauty. There were staircases to other levels of the library and ladders that you had to climb to retrieve your beloved, chosen book. It was wonderful.

Somewhere in this school was Missus Gilcrease. {in my head she was Missus KILL GREASE--much more terrifying} My head has her associated with the library and the office but I'm having trouble giving her a title. Here's her title. Meanie Pants. There.

In our school, we were not allowed to speak during lunch. Is that a rule? You could bet your boots, I was not going to speak.

But Jenny would. Oh, Miss Cool Jenny. She didn't have to mind the rules. So, Miss Cool Jenny was sitting by me as I had my lunch pulled out of my Care Bear lunchbox sipping on orange Hi-C in my matching thermos when she had the audacity to ask if I wanted something out of her lunch. I shook my head no. {shook my head, no speech} Missus Kill Grease pounced. She had heard it. Spinning around with her narrowing eyes, she asked who spoke. My mouth opened in horror. I thought I would be sick right there. "You, on the wall!" She said it to me. Me?

I cried and cried and cried. I was in trouble. On the wall. In trouble! In front of hundreds of students. Every eye on me. {not really, but at that time I was sure they were}

I adamantly denied being the guilty party. I don't think Missus Kill Grease had ever had such a hysterically innocent child on her hands. She changed her mind about making me stay on the wall and sent me out to play with my class. Sure, that fixed it right? My friends wouldn't play with me because "I was supposed to be on the wall"....I had been branded. A giant, scarlet T on my chest for Talker.

I sat on the sidewalk and began to feel sorry for myself. Missus Kill Grease came up and asked why I wasn't playing. I think inside she realized she was being filed away as villain for eternity in my heart. What she had done, she could not undo.

The school day was finally over. I somehow made it through the sea of yellow onto the right bus which delivered me to my mother. I didn't talk, worn out from the day. Momma always checked my lunch to see what I had eaten. She was startled to see that I hadn't eaten anything. I recounted my story and my mother, who is opposite of me and not afraid to raise a raucous, called the school the next day. Missus Kill Grease never bothered me again.

I steered clear of her until our paths met once more. The last day of school. The school gave out awards for an array of reasons. In our kindergarten class, my name was called over the inner com that I had won an award for being a exemplary student and should go to Missus Gilcrease's office to pick up my award.

Instead of feeling anxious about coming face to face with Meanie Pants again, I was thrilled. This woman was going to have to hand over an acceptance that I was amazing. I walked in and she said, "Adelia, there you are. Here you go! You're such a good girl." I took my bag of small toys and candy and gave her a look of told you so and left. Never to see Missus Gilcrease again. Except in my head where she has a permanent residence.

As far as Jenny. She wanted to be my friend. I never let her in my friendship circle. She got me into trouble. Unforgivable.

Here are my wise words of advice. Heed them well, friends don't talk to friends in the lunchroom.

Remember that and you'll live a long and happy life.

{This post inspired by Mama Kat's pretty much world famous writer's workshop}

Tales from the Mountain

2011-09-21T11:42:00.003-05:00

Much better. This week is much better than the last. Last week we moved from Small Town. Small Town filled with my very loved friends. Small Town with The Cafe on Broadway with my favorite sandwich with a cilantro ranch dressing. Small Town with Pour Jon's and the best coffee ever. Small Town with the 3 little boys' barbers. Small Town with all our memories. Small Town.

Enough about Small Town, I'm craving a sandwich and a good conversation now. Let's get onto The Mountain. We now live on The Mountain which is 2 hours east of Small Town. (Geez, forget about Small Town) I have made little jokes about The Mountain for years. Things are just different here. I'm slightly astonished to find that some of my jokes are true. (The peanut gallery: Boooooo) Anyway, we are staying in a Tiny House while we remodel our Big Red House. By Tiny House, you may think I'm exaggerating, as a sanguine is prone to do. Rest assured I am not. This house might be 900 sq ft...might be...

Why would any sane family of 6 live in such tiny conditions? Well, we are not sane for one. For two, we are paying such minimal rent that we are able to save a substantial amount of money. That money gets put right into Big Red House and this little family of 6 will have no mortgage. Hello! NO mortgage! Sure, it's probably going to take 2 years to get it to the level of awesome that we want it to be. We'll have it livable by April of next year. So, what is that like 7 months? I think we'll make it. The sacrifice is worth the end result. Financial freedom and an amazing house in the middle of nowhere, I mean, nature.

I had a difficult time last week. It was like living in pioneer days. No phone, no internet, no tv, no vehicle (because my mom hit a deer on the way home from our new house and we let her borrow ours until hers is fixed), no faces....I can do seclusion...If I choose it. Not when it is forced upon me. I grew up rurally. Trust me, this is not rural...this is...desolate. A beautiful desolate, but desolate nonetheless.

Anyway, better this week. I've made no mountain folk friends yet. As a Small Town friend once said, "Maybe if you stopped calling them mountain folk..." I don't think that's really the challenge. These people are a tough group. I've tried for years to get in with them to no avail. I used to think that they did not like me. I think I was wrong in that. I think they just see through me. I'm going to start sporting a hot pink feather boa every time I'm out. They'll have to notice me then!

Perhaps I should give you little snippets of our life here:
The boys go to bed without complaint. They are smooth worn out from their days. They have discovered a sand pit across the road in the church's yard. We went on a walk and discovered dozens and dozens of deer tracks of all sizes. T has caught a lizard, a salamander and 3 snakes. Lady Bug has added 'spider' to words that she can say. The mountain does sun rises well. Deer come to our back window.

A cold spell hit last week and we were unprepared to say the least. Boxes here and there in storage. Some Tiny House boxes didn't make it to their proper destination. Hoot's boots are missing. For those who know Hoot well, you know that this is a catastrophe. Hoot wore all of his Long Pants (aka jeans) during the warm days. Cold arrived and Hoot was Long Pantless. He found some of T's old jeans and this what I overheard:

Hoot: Size 7? Those aren't my size. Oh no! They won't fit me. (Light bulb eyes with a bit of aha!) Wait a minute! These were in my pile. Maybe they WILL fit me.

And he did make them fit. I just love him.

The Prof has had a rough time. Sometimes he loves it here, sometimes he doesn't. We're working through it.

We started homeschooling this week. It seemed to be a welcome sense of normalcy for us all.

Yesterday, I was attempting to give instructions to the Professor for his school work. He cut me off and said, "I know what I'm doing. Don't tell me! I went to kindergarten!" Whew, that just took a load off of me. One less kid to teach. Har, har.

That's the update. We are hillbillies and making it so far.

Seven a.m.

2011-09-02T12:59:00.002-05:00

This is what 7am looks like at my house. What does 7am look like at your house?

How To Get a Good Family Picture...

2011-08-24T08:22:00.006-05:00

What makes a family picture good? Well, you need cute kids first. Okay, got that. And that's about where the checklist stops.

This is my life:

I think that's as good as it's going to get. Let's see.

Nope.

Sibling issues.

Kissy issues.

Vocal issues.

Quirky issues.

Oh, dear.

Okay, that one was just funny. Let's do it again.

I give up.

So, does Lady Bug.

Okay, so moral of the story is to get a good family picture, you just snap away and enjoy the revelation that your family is quirky and that each one of these represents an amazing side of your kiddos. This is my family. This is my life. These are our good family pictures.

Our Girl: Bonnets and Fishing Poles

2011-06-06T17:49:00.006-05:00

She's our baby. This means she'll likely wear tutus while carrying a fishing pole. That's just how it will be. A little girly, a little rough, a lot of amazing.

Ladybug enjoyed her first fishing expedition recently. As the Professor says, remember that fishing trip when Ladybug was so cute and we caught nothing?

Ladybug stayed on the bank with me. We enjoyed ourselves on a hot, humid Arkansas Sunday afternoon.

We tired of our seats and took refuge on the blankets.

Prepare to have your heart flip-flop and flutter. I take no responsibility for your state of being after you view the next pictures. You have been warned. Okay, wait, I'll make it really official.

Viewer warning: Amazing cuteness to follow. Viewer discretion is advised.

Okay, now we'll take a look at them:

I'm drowning in her dimple....

The Princess and the Pea

2011-06-02T08:44:00.010-05:00

Alternate title could be: Our First Night in a Hotel with Ladybug

But I like the Princess and the Pea.

We made a quick trip down to LR a while back for my mom's laser surgery. My mom has had a port wine stain since birth and has been having laser surgery to have it removed. I usually go down with her the morning of and drive her back home that afternoon.

This time we decided to take everyone and stayed in a hotel. Yep, Ladybug's first hotel experience.

Oh, oh, oh. I nearly forgot about the roadtrip down. We had a good time. Stopped at the friendliest Cracker Barrel ever. And you know how some people stop at Cracker Barrel and let their dogs out to stretch and run and do their business? Well, that's what we do for our boys there too...

Anyway, as we are coming into LR, we notice a dummy driver driving like a dummy. You get me? So, I'm already on alert of this dummy when we see traffic in front of us a ways hitting their brakes and swerving from here to there. (I should also mention it was dark as in evening at this time) As my Brett, the driver, is approaching this area we see the issue. Someone had lost their kayak and we were headed straight for it with no option to swerve. This is where I'll sing praises for having a large vehicle. Our house-mobile of a Suburban straddled that thing without thinking about it. Okay, technically Suburban's can't think, but ours can. Ha. Whatev, that was a little too thrilling for me. Back to the hotel...

Ladybug was excited.

The boys travelled in their swim trunks anticipating using the pool upon arrival. Hoot in his usual loud style of clothing choice: Still excited.

I need a hot tub. This kid loved it. For those who know my sensitive man, this was a total reset for him.

The Big Men just chilling' or is it heating?

Ladybug decided to have a meltdown after her 4 hour road trip. We tried to console her and turned on some tunes to help. T-Bird went wild. And we survived Ladybug's fit.

A new day. A new opportunity to swim. T is the Jr Lifeguard teaching a brother to swim.

Nane and Ladybug getting their morning going.

That's my girl!

The Princess and the Pea

She just cracks me up. We tucked her into bed while we got ready. When I saw her in this seemingly huge bed in relation to her, I immediately thought princess.

Ladybug enjoyed her time, but she detests riding for hours. She saves her fusses for the evening not the ride, which is good--for what good is. And that's the reason we've not ventured out more.

The Homeschool Files: Tackling the Socialization Issue

2011-05-26T08:17:00.005-05:00

The end of a school year always finds me excited about the next year and contemplating what worked this year and what we need to improve on the next. It's a little silly how excited I become. I mean, I was just counting down the days until the end of the school year and here I am calculating greatness for next year. I'm a little silly.

Our local homeschool group hosts a homeschool classroom tour each year. I wanted to volunteer our classroom, but my dear Brett said I had too much on my plate already. I love it when he saves me from myself. I've decided that I am mostly un-busy {I laugh}, so I'd like to share some homeschool thoughts over the next few weeks. This is often a time when parents are thinking should we homeschool, what does homeschooling look like, can we do it, etc...

I'd like to first address one of two comments that are said most often to me in response to us homeschooling. One is, "I could never do that." And perhaps that is true. I'll leave that one for now.

The one that gets my goose is, "What about socialization?"

Ya, what about it?

Ha. Seriously, let's look at the definition of socialization: the process by which a human being beginning at infancy acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of society through education and training for adult status.

My initial thought on this is that those who ask about the "s" word do not really know what it means. They are thinking, will little Johnny ever get to play with another kid, what about sports, will they know how to stand in line, what about opening their milk carton and eating with a hundred other people...

{We homeschool, people, we are not recluses}

To be honest, I have to work on under socializing my kiddos according to the lay man's definition of socialization.

However, according to dear Merriam-Webster, even then I have to say that my children are quite socialized. Yep, they are well-rounded, seal of approval stamped, socialized children.

Think about it. In a traditional school, children are divided into ages/grade level. Some of those are further segregated into classes by gender. {I actually think in a school setting this is a good idea at certain times} The child also has to give his or her race often.

Let's glimpse into my boys socialization world.

The go to AWANA which is segregated my age and gender. Check.

They go to Sunday school where they get to live it up and stand in lines. Sweet.

They have dined in a cafeteria. Nice.

They have been involved in gymnastics. Good

T is on the swim team. Yep.

Now let's go deeper.

We get together with fellow homeschoolers and have fun days, science days, field trips...but, they also live their lives with me. Which means that some days they may have to go into an adult setting and know that it's not okay to throw a wild rumpus bash. Other times, we may only be around small children. This would mean they have no one to play with that are their ages. What then?

We were playing with some friends a couple of weeks ago and we had 8 kids, 2 yr olds up to almost 9 yr olds. And you know what? They all played and inter-mingled together wonderfully. An almost 9 yr old can play with a 4 yr old and giggle and have fun! 8 kids and no issues. Sounds like well adjusted and socialized kids to me.

We have neighbors who go to a traditional school and come over to play. They are just plain mean to my younger boys and do not include them in games. {I realize this is not true of all school children, this has just been our experience over and over again in our world. We only have one set of traditional schooled friends that show kindness readily} Homeschoolers don't get away with that. At least mine don't. We are a family unit and we are friends. Kindness goes a long way and we have to learn to make wise decisions.

Not only can my kids blend into any situation {usually. the post office and insurance office incidences are excluded here. yikes!} They do not recognize color or ability. We have friends with dark skin, olive skin, and light skin. We have friends who have all of their limbs, some that are missing one. We have friends who run and walk and some who have a chair to zoom around in. My kids have friends that are babies and friends that are 74 yrs old. Guess what. My kids don't make a big deal about it, and they have fun with their friends. Isn't this what society wants? A world who doesn't see differences? But a world that just sees a person?

If my kids can play with and enjoy anyone anywhere, I'd say they are more socialized than some adults. They have a great "knowledge of society" and they are receiving it by living a wonderful homeschooled life.

If you are thinking of homeschooling, don't let the dirty "s" word be an issue. If you are a homeschooler and think you are failing in the socialization area, think again. I bet they are plenty socialized.

Best wishes!

Here's a glimpse of socialized children. Aren't they cutie-pies?

And So It Begins

2011-05-09T07:43:00.002-05:00

I've probably written this post in my head a hundred times. I typed it up twice only to have it lost at the hands...er...of my own hands. Anyway, I somehow deleted it because I'm awesome like that, yo.

Here we are. The sun is up. The sun is yellow. {out you go, Dr Seuss--he plagues my sentences some days}

And it's Monday.
Not just any Monday.
It's the first Monday of our new life.

If you've not caught wind yet, we're moving. Yes, we're leaving Small Town. There are a number of reasons. I did list those reasons in one of the lost posts but I refuse to get emotionally involved again, so you get no explanation outside of these. {I say that with love}

Reasons to leave Small Town:
1. We want to be in a more rural area.
2. We want to be near family.
3. The severe weather around here stinks.

We had set a five year goal of meeting our desire to live more rural/have a hobby farm. We had planned to purchase land around here this year. BUT. But good ol' Mother Nature kept throwing kinks in that thought. Thank you, Mother Nature. {sarcasm applied to the last sentence} We are thoroughly fed up of tornado weather. While the area we are moving to is not immune to such happenings, it is less likely.

You see, we're moving to the mountains. Brett's mountains. Part of me is wanting to reach for a paper bag and do some deep breathing. Another part is completely okay with it and knows that the Lord has opened up some amazing doors. Who are we to not step through?

Brett's job had to transfer immediately because the position we needed opened sooner than we desired. Today is Monday. He started his out of town work this morning. He's staying with family near our soon to be home and will be returning on his days off.

You should know that I have two guns that I know how to use at the ready. Yes, Stella and Bessie are ready to assist at any time. I also have a gun named Bertha, that is just plain big and would be perfect for walloping someone over the head. With the Lord's protection and provision and the guns that Brett has talked me through, no yay-hoo is gonna shake down this house.

What? Am I the only one who prepares like that?

You should also know that Brett said this:
Brett: We need to make copies of the keys for when you lock yourself out of the house. We can give a copy to the Griffins since they are in town.
Me: What?
Brett: For when you lock yourself out of the house. Or the truck.
Me: Brett, you can't do that. I don't lock myself out of the house. Well, I've not done it in months. And if you send them to the Griffins and I actually need them...Allen will never let me live it down.
Brett: Ya, but they are in town and we trust them.
Me: {down-trodden head hang}

Self-talk: Please don't lock yourself out. Please don't lock yourself out...

The Rundown:
We're moving.
Brett's already on the move.
We'll move late summer.
We're renovating a house. A house with so much space! And wonderful wood floors. And we're going with an open concept! And, and, and...It's going to be a good thing.
We'll be in the middle of no where. Some people call it Newton County. Potato, potahto.
We'll be about an hour from Big City and about an hour and 45 minutes from Small Town.
Don't go mourning my departure yet. I plan on visiting.

I'm good with being alone during the day with my kiddos. That's what I do. Every day. I'm a stay at home mom and I love it. My issue is the evenings. That's Daddy/husband time. We love our Brett. I plan on filling my evenings with board games with the kids, reading, writing, no arithmetic, devotions, netflix {notice I put devotions before netflix}, dinners with friends...The list continues.

So, if you'd like to pray for our little family, we would be ever so appreciative. We're in transition. It's a good thing, different, but good.

There you have it. You are in the know. And I need to get ready for a play date.

Easter Memories

2011-04-24T08:42:00.002-05:00

Here it is again. Easter. Easter mornings are the best mornings of any year. I just love them.

Easter is my favorite holiday, did you know that?

Treasured memories from my childhood. That time seems so far away now. Not even a part of my reality anymore. So strange.

Easter will always bring up the memories of going to Grandpa W's house for dinner and ultimate egg hunt with my cousins. I realize now Grandpa W was the glue that held the family together. He's been gone now for half my lifetime. Crazy. Half my lifetime? With him went Easter gatherings. But how fond they remain in my heart.

Long ago are the days of trying to maintain a low profile so my cousins would not pick on the only girl in the group by smashing found eggs into my hair. Yes, they were such dears. And I definitely never attempted to go up against my cousins to find the most eggs. That would have meant death. They were stinkers. I still flinch when near them, expecting to be tormented. Good times.

Easter now holds a separate memory for me. You see, I found out that I was pregnant with Ladybug on Easter morning of last year. On Good Friday of 2010, I found myself exhausted and sleeping for 3 hours in the afternoon in a near comatose state of being. The exhaustion had gone from bothersome to dangerous. By Sunday, I decided to get to the bottom of the exhaustion and weed out the culprits.

Anemia and pregnancy were at the top of my list. The pregnancy question was easy to remedy. Imagine my excitement when the test revealed my baby growing inside! I cried and laughed all at once.

I'll never forget Brett's reaction. He was still snoozing when I came into the room with my test in hand. He opened his sleepy eyes and said, "Baby, you're pregnant!" He had a huge smile on his face. Yes, I was pregnant and thrilled.

I never thought boy or girl like I had with other pregnancies. My very first thought after seeing the results was a prayer of protection over my baby and for a healthy, full term pregnancy and baby. After our miscarriage two years before, I did a lot of soul-searching, grieving and yearning for my baby. Ladybug is my gift. A victory and promise from the Lord.

Oh, how I needed her without even knowing just how much I did. We found out about her on Easter and she was born nine days before Christmas. True, she is a gift of holiday proportions.

While I miss those long ago memories of my childhood, the memories today are a little sweeter. Okay, a lot sweeter.

On this Holy day, I lift my heart and say, Holy, holy are you God. Thank you for my Easter blessings. Thank you for my precious gift, for my precious family. I pray I always have a heart of gratitude and a yearning to always drink from Your cup. You are my King, my risen King! Hallelujah!

Hope you enjoy your Easter Sunday!

When Brothers Strike

2011-03-30T08:34:00.004-05:00

I was truly concerned about how my boys would react to a girl. Oh, how I heard the moans and groans of wanting a boy the entire time I was pregnant with our Ladybug.

T-Bird was less than thrilled that we were having another baby, add baby girl to that and you have woeful T.

That changed the night she was born. He was hooked and didn't even want to try to wriggle free.

You wouldn't even know that those emotions existed once upon a time. Instead, he and the other two boys involve her in all activities. They could be sword fighting then come and ask her if she likes it or if they are doing it right. I love it!

This is what I've seen from T this week:

Bandannas for everyone, including little Ladybug!

And this absolutely melts my heart. This is the second time that I've found him reading board books to her. I think it's neat that he's not reading a book that appeals to him but a book that appeals to her.

While he wears a coon skin hat and she wears one of his army hats. Too cute!!!

Moments like this...the facts are undeniable...I am so blessed.

I love my little family.

The Three Amigos Host a Fiesta!

2011-03-14T16:11:00.006-05:00

I found myself at Hobby Lobby on Friday picking up last minute decor items for a friend's baby shower that I was helping to host. Oh, Hobby Lobby. My old foe. She's my old foe because there must be a chemical that is emitted through the air system that enhances the ability of my children to misbehave. Yes, I'm certain that is it. Well, I gave the boys the talk and reminded them about their last experience before entering the battlefield. Things went well. We found the little items needed for the table. Then we went to find napkins and those kind what-nots. I was looking for cutesie stuff and noticed sweet giggles behind me. I turned around to see this:

Two ladies walked by and one said, "Oh, look at the fiesta!"

This, technically, didn't qualify as misbehavior.

But it is definitely in the "my children are nutty" category. Ole'!

12 Weeks

2011-03-10T17:55:00.009-06:00

I call her my little Rainbow Brite when she wears theses. Throwback to my childhood.

I woke up today and went about my business. Just an ordinary day.

A friend stopped by with her kiddos.

Still an ordinary day.

Then I mentioned to my friend, Dana, that Ladybug is 12 weeks today.

Then it happened.

12 weeks?????

12 weeks!!!!!

NO!

Really?!?

Yep, 12 weeks as of 5:23 this afternoon.

{And it's appropriate that Dana be here on this day. She was here when Ladybug arrived as well.}

12 weeks ago I experienced one of the most amazing, sacred events of my life.

12 weeks.

Today I celebrated her twelfth week of life by taking my tenth nap since her arrival. That's right my tenth nap. They are so few and far between that I actually have fun keeping up with how many I've had.

I don't know how I'm functioning with 3 kiddos, a newborn, and ten naps, but I am. I'm certain that it is the Lord giving me strength. He's good at that. Along with a good dose of His mercy and grace.

When I was pregnant with Ladybug, I had written on a note card Be thankful for every little mercy. I had written that specifically for my pregnancy and labor. Now I realize I'll need that thoughtful reminder for the rest of my life.

Ladybug enjoyed her favorite meal for her birthday...Momma's milk. And wore such a cute outfit...A onesie and leg warmers. Too cute.

My heart aches because these 12 weeks are something of a blur. Postpartum weeks always are.

But they are a beautiful blur.

Let's see. What does Ladybug enjoy?

Okay, got it.

Ladybug likes:

-Daddy's mad swaddling skills.

-T-Bird's voice.

-Professor X's slightly frantic soothing methods.

-Hoot's patience and calm when she is frazzled.

-Momma's soft curves that she snuggles into.

-The bumble bee on her swing that is always there telling her funny stories which excite her and bring out bursts of cheer.

-Jack Johnson's music. {she fits so well with the rest of the family}

-Her bath time. {okay, she loves her bath time}

And here's my Birthday Girl.

That dimple!!!

Her little onesie says, the best thing since sliced bread. So cute. So true.

Oh No He Di'nt!

2011-03-02T10:44:00.007-06:00

Oh yes. He did.

My kids surprise me often, yet in my surprise I can also say that the "surprise" isn't that surprising because it fits in with my kids personalities. Did that even make sense? Hopefully, you get my meaning.

For instance, while making up our task board, Hoot began writing his name. Then he compiled a series of letters, some discernible and some not so much, and said, "Look, Momma, it spells my name. See it says Da-Vy-Cro-Cket. That's my name!" That little act was cute and surprising, and it fit the little person that Hoot is.

My dear Professor gave me a big surprise this past weekend. And yes, it too fit the little person he is.

Last week Hoot had asked to go to the bookstore. Baaaaaaaaah...{that's the sound of angels singing} This kid is after my heart. I love the bookstore. Oh to be surrounded by far off places, thrills, love, new insight...The smell alone of a book nearly makes me swoon.

So, considering that our Ladybug is 10 weeks, I thought we'd give it a go. We're very choosy with our outings but the bookstore won this one.

We went to Hobby Lobby first to look at decorations for a baby shower we are helping with.

Boys' Behavior Assessment at Hobby Lobby: Not good. But not terrible. Eeking by.

I HAD to go to Target to acquire something super duper cute for Ladybug. {They deserve their own post, so I'll not go into the details of these}

Boys' Behavior Assessment at Target: Dastardly.

Henceforth, when I refer to "boys" I'm referring to Hoot and the Professor. T-Bird is my sweet kiddo in this story.

I found myself at a loss. Their behavior went from okay to "oh my goodness...are these my kids" rather quickly. I had given the boys the talk about behavior and what we would be doing as we were out. They had a set of expectations. I wasn't throwing in any surprises. Part of the talk consisted of "we will not go to the bookstore if you act up, runaway, do not listen...." in the store. Then I even reworded the talk by saying, "you are such great little boys, you will listen and stay with Momma..."

I picked up Ladybug's cute little items, turned my back for 3 and a half seconds and that's when the two little boys disappeared. I found them climbing behind the stroller boxes!!!!! And oh how they giggled! What fun they were having! I then gave a hearty, "Argh." I got the boys out of their cave of stroller wonders and started heading toward the check out. T was pushing Ladybug in her stroller and I had a boy's hand in each of my own.

That's when sweet little Hoot said something to me. I {{{mistakenly}}} released the kid to listen to him. {{{why}}} That's when he saw his opportunity to spring from the Power (i.e. me) and took off through the women's lingerie. Giggles and woo-hoos followed.

This is the point that the Professor tries to wriggle out of my grasp to join the newly sprung Hoot on his joyride. He began to fist pump and cheer on Hoot.

{This is the "Oh No He Di'nt! moment}

Professor X encouraged with great enthusiasm, "Ya, Go Hoot! Go, Hoot, go!!! Go, go, go!!!" This cheer continued for quiet a while because I was dumbfounded. I looked at my son and suddenly was torn. Not only was this bad behavior, but it was funny. Yes, sometimes disobedience has a comical air to it. But as a mother, you can't laugh at this cute little fist pumping scene. For two reasons, you'll let him know that this is okay and you enjoy it. And two, this behavior will not be cute when he is a fifteen year old.

So, I hold my composure. Finally, acquire a Hoot, check out, get to the truck and then give the bad news.

We will not being going to the bookstore.

Let the whining and compromising begin. {I was sobbing on the inside}

Not just whining and compromising but a little bit of manipulation dusted with bribing.

If you take us we'll be good...

We promise....

Those promises and compromises sounded so good. Yet, I had to keep my word. Say what you mean and mean what you say, right?

Some days you have to cut your losses for the greater good. I mean, so you'll have a well-rounded child who becomes an adult. One who doesn't manipulate or bribe to get his way.

On this day, I left Small Town to go to the Big City only to not enjoy one of the greatest treasures of Big City. (!!!!!)

I don't know. I just know that I was very sad to not go to the book store and sniff hundreds of books. But I also felt good about my parenting. They didn't wear me down. I followed through.

The boys are looking forward to their next chance to visit the bookstore and have already explained what their behavior will be. {big sigh of relief from Momma}.

Well done. Our next trip should include no fist pumping or cheering.

Guilty parties. Forgiven parties.

Seen and Heard: Cabin Fever Edition

2011-02-14T16:43:00.007-06:00

We got that fever...That cabin fever...

Woo-wee! We had been cooped up in our house for over two months! Ladybug's birth came before the holidays, so we hunkered down for those first few weeks. Then came cold weather.

Cold weather brought a snow storm.

That snow storm brought a blizzard.

Record lows and record snowfall in a single day for our area.

It was cold.

It was fun.

It also nearly made me nuttier than I already am.

But we survived. Here are some images and random comments we enjoyed during our snow time.

Oh, my heart just flip flops when I look at this picture.

I caught these two trying to take an icesperf inside our house.

What's an icesperf you ask??

I dunno, it's the Professor's word.

After some investigation, I learned it's something between an iceberg and an icicle. {sigh...my kids...}

Brett went to shovel off our covered carport out of concern that it may collapse from the weight of the snow.

Brett came into the house after he finished shoveling to ask T-Bird to come out to see something funny. I didn't go out thinking that it wasn't something I'd be interested in since he didn't ask me to come as well. Wouldn't you know that stinker probably didn't invite me because I'd take pictures or video. Brett climbed back up the ladder, pulled back on it and fell into the snow while holding onto the ladder!!! Anything to impress his boy. Yes, I'm jealous that I didn't get to see him perform his stunt. Bummer. But I still think he's awesome.

Swinging in the snow.

Falling a bazillion times because the snow was nearly as tall as him.

Brothers trying to rescue the little mite.

Another icesperf.

Neighbors car the following day.

Admiring an icesperf.

It finally warmed up enough to take Ladybug out.

Pay no attention to my hair. I was on my way to a hair appointment, so my hair is pulled back and has not personality at all.

Typical family picture. Good to know Ladybug falls right into the 'everyone looking different ways making different faces' groove.

Snow baby getting ready to go out.

Oh, she's so cute in her little bunting and car seat. Yes, I did pull up the harnass portion of her seatbelt. It was down for picture taking purposes.

Big Yawn.

Okay now for some quips.

Me:
Hoot did you hit Professor X?

Hoot, with a bit of indignation: I didn't hit him! I bonked him.

{yes, hitting and bonking are so very different}

Hoot was whispering at dinner about a spider at his father's house.

Me, recognizing an opportunity for hilarity: At your father's house you say??

Hoot: Ya, at my father's house, but he's gone now.

Me: Who is your father?

Hoot: No one.

Me: That's your father. {motioning toward Brett who is sitting beside him}

Hoot: No he isn't. He's my daddy.

Me: Yes, but he is also your father.

Hoot: No, he's dad.

Me: Who's your mother?

Hoot: You.

Me: Yes, and Dad is your father.

{this seemed to be an endless debate, but he finally accepted Brett as his father}

Brett: Ladybug, to you want a snack first or bedtime first.

T-Bird: Snack because it's one syllable.

{I know that's how I make my decisions, on a syllable basis that is}

Okay, I had one more good one but I have forgotten it. I'll blame it on my dog this time.

We enjoyed our snow days, but we are also enjoying the 50+ degree weather of this week. Arkansas weather...It's loopy.

It Snew!

2011-01-25T09:56:00.007-06:00

Don't you just wish the past tense for snow was snew?! And that if you did say it, you should use your best nasal British accent.

No??

Just me?

Oh.

Well, it snew...er...I mean, snowed last week.

The boys were thrilled.

I was surprised when they stayed outside for longer than a half hour. Because it was SUPER DUPER COLD--and with the cheek chapping wind, it was even colder!

Brrr....

The men whom I love.

As I entered the house and shut the door behind me, this happened.

MY HUSBAND DID THIS! AND THEN LAUGHED!

Hrmph!

And then his minions followed suit.

Hoot's went a little wayward. You can see him eyeing his greatness that hit the bricks.

Yes, pelting snow balls at Momma and pretending they are smashing into her face is such fun. That's what I'm here for.

I'll say that I didn't make luring comments about how they couldn't get me and to bring it on....Ya, I'll say that....

Stir Crazy Update

2011-01-22T10:14:00.006-06:00

It's Winter.

There is snow on the ground.

I'm cold.

I just had a baby 5 weeks ago.

I don't go anywhere as of late...

Because I just had a baby AND I now have 4 kids.

All decisions are now made on a "Is it worth it?" analysis.

Is it worth making sure 4 kids are properly clothed, and ready to get out and about?
Is it worth keeping up with 4 kids and returning home with the same 4 kids?
Is it worth...... {this is an endless list of questions}

And the answers are usually a resounding NO.

So, yes, I am a little stir crazy. {by a little, you should read A LOT}

We did get out and visit my dear friend last week--just for my mental health. I was a little too talkative, but this friend is so forgiving and a willing victim of my banter. Love her.

Then we went to my friend's birthday party at the end of the weekend. I could hardly stand myself as I watched the hours tick away on Sunday. I was leaving Small Town, Baby!!

While I was uber excited, I was also slightly concerned that we would be completely and totally and obviously and horribly socially awkward. {speaking of awkward, as I've stated before, awkward always looks awkward to me when I spell it out}

Back to my family's social awkwardness: You see, we had shut down shop weeks before Ladybug's arrival. True, I did make a Hobby Lobby run the day before we had her, but that was cut short by the pressure and pre-labor contractions I was having. Sooooo, the boys have not been out and about in some time. And the little ragamuffins were to accompany us to this birthday dinner. Hmmmm....

How was this going to go down??

Wonderfully! The boys were soooooooooo great! I was blessed and pleased . I even had comments said to me about their behavior! You know your kids are good when you get those!

We were at the restaurant for a few hours and the only bit on non-sense we encountered was a bit of Hoot and his kissy-ness.

Which turned into goofiness.

Hoot enjoys trying to gross everyone out. Which is where kisses come in.

As seen here, Hoot is trying to force his kiss while the Professor holds his face back. T jumps in the mix with a pretend kiss. Because T-Bird DOES NOT KISS! Never has, even as a baby. He doesn't roll like that.

I.....Will.....Kiss......You.....

And here are my hot dates. Okay, ya, this is a typical family picture...

Ladybug enjoyed being in Nane's arms for most of the evening. She behaved like a little lady, as expected.

I truly enjoyed getting out of my house and Small Town. I hope to do it a little more often...We shall see.

For now, that is the stir crazy update.

She's Here!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-07T22:01:00.006-06:00

The prettiest, pinkest thing has arrived!

Brace yourself for lovely beauty!

Can you handle it?

Here goes:

Our Ladybug is here! Ya, she came out this gorgeous. Isn't her color amazing for a freshly birthed baby!?! And such a sweet, round head! Okay, can you tell I'm her Momma? I'm so in love!

She had to wear her monkey jacket from Auntie Christi a few days after her birthday because her super awesome older brother had a piece of his orthodontic appliance break the day before the orthodontist left for Christmas...Trust me, that's a whole other post in itself! Let's just keep this one focused on this sweet bundle today.

Oooooh, this is her "Hey, Daddy is gone..Let's play dress up because you are less than 15 hours old picture." She pulled it off pretty nicely, I think.

I love this sweet outfit from Auntie Moelissa! {The two aunties mentioned are my dearest friends who are both out of state...sniff...sniff...I love those girls. And they both sent me clothes and gifts months before she was due. I think they were a little excited too.}

She sleeps like an angel. Look at those sweet hands.

She is ridiculously loved by her brothers.

Especially by Hoot.
He has surprised me.

He is devoted to his sister. {another post to come on this subject}

She is the perfect addition to our family.

Thank you, Lord, for answering my heart's desire. Our girl is really here!

Added Post Post for my friend Tab who helps keep me in line: She was 8 wonderful pounds and 4 ounces. The tiniest 8lbs 4 oz ever. She is still in newborn clothing and well over nine pounds. This is a first for us! Dainty little thing. But she's kind of long at 20 and 1/4 inches.

And she was a home birth {another post--Gosh, I have a lot of posting to do}. My labor kicked in around 2:30-3 pm and she entered our world at 5:23 pm! It was the most amazing thing that I've experienced yet!!

Due Date Conversations

2010-12-15T12:27:00.003-06:00

Professor X: Ten days until the baby gets here!

Me: Um, you want the baby to be born on Christmas?

Prof: Yep. {with a radiant smile} Oh, wait! She doesn't have a snow dress though does she? No, she shouldn't come on Christmas.

I'm a little startled by his big thoughts sometimes. And I wonder if he thinks she is supposed to look like a little Sugar Plum Fairy when she gets here. That boy and his fancy thoughts!

I'm also a little startled that he wants me to keep her in another ten days. Which is entirely safe, but still---ten days?????!!!!!

Strange Things

2010-12-12T08:45:00.009-06:00

One of the terrible and wonderful things about Arkansas weather is that if you don't like the weather today, just hang around it will change. Yes, 20 degrees one day then 50 the next.

A couple of weeks ago I ventured out with the boys. I was feeling a little couped up and the boys hadn't enjoyed pieces of our small town in some time.

We have a lovely little downtown and our parks are quite nice. We have a skate park with volleyball courts next to them. Those volleyball courts are a gold mine...I mean, they are dandy for kids with all that fine, precious sand. Hours of entertainment.

I love the many quirky, squishy faces of this kid.

Who knew filling a hat with sand over and over again would or could be so thrilling??

Can you hear the quiet? Nice!

The skate park is indispensable for running up and down and up and down and...

Okay, here are my examples of my strange things.

Brett took the two youngest with him to his mom's recently. T-Bird stayed behind with me. I was getting ready to steam clean the carpets when I noticed T walked back to his room with a washable marker. Then my brain kicked in, he had just said moments before that he needed something to do. Ack! Warning!

Too late. By the time I inspected, this is what I found.

"Mr. Perfecto" with accent and all.

Nice glasses and fancy/curly mustache.

Then I noticed this thing one day while I finished up school work with T-Bird and the Professor.

Really??? Is that the best use of paper towels?! {But at least he was being quiet during school hours.}

He's verrrry strange. And I love him verrrry much.

I love all my strange things very much. {and for whatever reason, the Professor didn't have any recent examples of strangeness. I guess he's saving it up for a special day...}

The Best Baby Belly Rubber in the World

2010-12-10T16:45:00.003-06:00

Well, that is right up there with "rubber baby buggy bumpers" now isn't it?

There are some things that I just don't want to forget. Right now, I don't ever want to forget this:
This child has such a tender heart toward the baby. He's rubbed my belly since the first hint of roundness. His morning rhythm begins with cuddling up to me and getting his rubbing motor revving. He also walks me to the truck--as in, he places his hands on my back and belly and "carries" my belly to the truck. Okay, my eyes are a little watery now. He's just sooooooooo sweet sometimes.

I know this is an important way he shows love. The Professor responds well to touch therapy. I accidentally discovered this when he was a baby. He was so creamy and white as though he had been freshly laundered and sent down from Heaven. His little cheeks were so soft and I would rub his cheek when he nursed or went down for a nap. One of the initial phrases he used was "rubba cheek." I still rubba cheek for him. And he rubba belly for me.

Let's not forget his sweet whisperings to her:
I wonder when your birthday will be?
I wonder if you will like sugar like me?
You know you're going to come out one day...I don't know when, but one day...

Oh my! My heart can hardly handle this!!

And then Little Hoot had to get in on the action.

He's a little impish don't you think?

Firsts and Lasts

2010-12-08T11:42:00.008-06:00

Has anyone else noticed that I'm pregnant? Or is it just me?

Seriously, my emotions have seemed to calm and focus. My heart keeps swelling and swelling and swelling...

She will be here soon. Our lives will once again change for the beautiful better.

My thoughts keep coming back to the fact that this is one of the few instances that I get to truly assist the Lord in a miracle. I mean, God didn't make humans reproduce by external eggs and hatchings like the some of the animal kingdom. I get to participate in bringing this life to the world. It's amazing. {with that in mind, I pray that those who desire to become mothers have their desires met}

So, we are in the season of firsts and lasts.

We were blessed back in October to have our very first ever Blessing Baby Shower.

Families came out just to celebrate our family. It was a blustery evening but super fun.

I'm prego with this lady. Due just two days apart!

Such a neat idea. Blessings were placed on the tree by friends for our family. I have them and they are ready to keep me focused during labor.

And then I recently had my first ever PINK Baby Shower.

I have to tell you that it seemed very strange. To me, blue means baby. A sea of pink was exciting but slightly disorientating. Just not used to it yet.

I also had my first ever diaper cake! Yes, 8 baby showers in my baby/birthing life and my first diaper cake! That was fun!

This is my wonderful friend Kim who has known me the longest of all my NWA friends {well, of the ones who still live in NWA}. I met her when I was prego with T-Bird. She's been through all the babies with me, and heard my heart's woes about not having a girl. Now here we are, celebrating the first girl and last baby of my life! So, so sweet to me.

Oh, and I also was given my first ever corsage! Yeee! I don't know why, but I was super excited about that too.

Ya, right?! I'll show you a baby belly! Haha! This is my friend who is pregnant with her first baby! I'm so thrilled for her for the obvious reasons, but also because she is looking forward to this pregnancy whatever it brings and being a Momma! I mean like reeeeeeeaaaalllllyyyy excited to go through this process and enjoy it! She's a super fun gal.

Hiking up and adjusting maternity pants.

T holds up his 'pinky' to represent for the girl. {what a nut!}

My kids are nutty!!!

Hoot is exceptionally proud of his baby.

Yum, in love with sugar...and the Dr Pepper is NOT his!

I'm so in love with this guy. Even though he harassed me last night. I asked if he was just trying to agitate me to send me into labor. He looked at me with a bit of ornery and said, All I know is that if I were pregnant, I know I could go into labor. Oooooh, Buddy, you're in trouble. Brett knows that's how you get me to do anything...I'm a little too competitive. That's when we both laughed and I punched him in the side like a good wife would. Brett is really looking forward to the baby's arrival! He's kind of great like that.

As good as a family picture gets. Nice chicken dance, T! Sheesh!

So, there they are firsts and lasts. My last baby showers of my baby birthing life. What a sweet end.

He's Amazing!

2010-12-07T14:52:00.007-06:00

You can imagine my surprise when I found out that I was pregnant with Hoot while the Professor was only 7 months old!!! Yes, quite surprised and a little weary that I could care for two babies at once. Well, as Hoot just celebrated his 4th birthday I have received my answer. I guess I can and did care for two babies at once--and they survived.

Hoot has not let a day pass without surprising us. With his antics and hilarity, I have ceased asking why? and simply ask why not?! It makes more sense. Why wouldn't he climb over the fence to the rodeo arena...Why wouldn't he drop his drawers and water the flowers in front of company...or at the lake...or the park...The question should be WHY NOT?

OH! This picture does me in. LOVE. SWOON. Yes, you nut, I love you!

Happy 4th Birthday, my dear!

Hoot is a Cowboy at heart. This set has provided countless hours of fun for all of the boys! Yesss!

Random Thoughts on this Friday

2010-12-03T09:59:00.004-06:00

My mind seems to be on cruise control today. We're maintaining a high speed. One thing, I'm thinking, I have so much to do so why am I sitting here typing?! Luckily, that is a rhetorical question.

Then I started thinking about the fact that Hoot is going to be 4 this weekend. 4! 4!? I still think of him as my baby. No, not because he is the youngest, but because he still has baby features. His big round pumpkin head. That light white hair. Those kissy cheeks with big blue eyes. Oh, my heart! It doesn't help that he just started truly speaking over the last couple of months. Seriously.

I'm always surprised when he forms sentences. That sounds terrible, but it is the truth. He was the child of ughs and grunts for so long. Today's startling sentence was, "I'm so excited about my birthday. It's almost my birthday!" And then he went back into silence. Tears rimmed my eyes. He says such precious things and is smart as the proverbial whip, but when he forms his sentences he makes it seems as though it took everything he had to get it out. Oh, my heart--again!

I have a baby due in just days and yet here I sit wanting Hoot to stay my baby forever. I think about nursing him. UGH. He always wanted to purse his lips----NOT GOOD. I called him my little prude. And he is the hottest child in the world. So sweaty. Nursing him in the summer was exceptionally disgusting. And you couldn't speak when he was nursing or make any sort of noise. Yes, the child was nosey, nosey. He would break from nursing and try to sit up and I would say, "Mind your business" and back he would go to dinner. Here I have listed a series of nursing events that don't seem charming at all, but to this Momma they are precious memories!

And now he is a boy. A big boy. Who let this happen?

Oh, by the way, it is now Saturday, so I obviously took a break and never returned to this task. I'm also thinking, holy moly, my estimated due date is 10 days away. Likely, in the next two weeks we will meet our twirling little girl. Yes, she 'twirls' in utero. Did you know that motion sickness is one of my weaknesses? I took five Dramamine once just to ride a roller coaster. And I still got sick. So this little twirly-whirl she does is definitely exciting in a not really exciting way.

Did you know that I can list 23 women that I have been pregnant with during this baby incubation period. That's just off the top of my head. I've recently found out more friends are in the family way, so I'm sure I could add more. It's a really fun time in so many ladies' lives!

I'll end with a funny thought: Hoot had a little friend over last night. One of my friends was going on our Small Town Christmas Home Tour and I offered to watch her littlest. I mean, aren't home tours more enjoyable without a pre-schooler in tow? We heard Hoot say something so funny. We could hear good pre-k cowboy banter coming from Hoot's room, and Brett decided to go check it out.

Brett: Hey guys, whatcha doing?
Boys: Nothing.
Brett leaves and hears Hoot say in his deepest cowboy/big boy voice: That's my dad. He talks so much.

We found that to be hilarious! And we all know my biggest complaint about Brett is that he talks so much--ya, I rarely get a word in. {seething with sarcasm}

I guess the alternate title of this post could be: I've Got Nothin'--Just Felt Like Blogging!

Make it a good day!

Writing Motherhood: Entry 2 {follies of a young mother}

2010-11-29T14:05:00.003-06:00

I thrive in dreary weather. Damp, overcast, slightly cool....mmmmmm...I usually find myself refreshed and full of energy. However, this perfectly damp, overcast, slightly cool morning I found myself weepy!?????! I couldn't believe it. I'm writing that off to being 38 weeks pregnant.

In an effort to pull myself out of the 38 weeks pregnant dreary day dumps, I've decided to share some of my greatest moments of mothering. {Please read that as, holy cow if she can do it I can do it} That's right, because these are the moments of hilarity that I look back on now and just laugh...And I also use these stories to encourage new mothers who are having rough days and condemning themselves. Seriously, if you'll use my life as a gauge, you'll think you are the most amazing mother ever. I set the bar pretty low.

{Writing Motherhood entries are not edited. They come from my WM journal and phase in and out of tenses, disregard grammar and spelling altogether. The point of WM journaling is to get out the thoughts and memories quickly. Enjoy the journey into my mind, just don't get lost in there....}

Great Mothering Moment #1:
How can one child be so difficult. Seriously??? My goal right now is to just keep this little thing alive. Hrumph. He's so exhausting. How does he get out of the car seat, the stroller, the cart....He's so tiny...He's so frustrating...He's so amazing. This Little Hoot is going to do me in.

I have to go to Wal-Mart. I so dislike Wal-Mart...for a million and one reasons, but today's reason is just because I don't want to go with the boys...where Hoot will inevitably escape and I'll have to search for his little white head and discover him perched with the dairy. You know what, I'm going to do it! I'm going to buy one of those kid leash things! Yes, I have made fun of parents who leash their children. Yes, this means I admit defeat, but I have to make sure this kid makes it to adulthood and that I stay a redhead for at least a decade longer.

Okay, there. He's hooked up and leashed, let's go kid. Hmm, he's pulling back and resisting. No. NO. He WILL walk with me. This kid will not do me in. Okay, just keep walking forward, he'll give in eventually. Okay, now we're doing it. We're walking down the main aisle. Oh ya. I'm the Momma! Keep up the positive self-talk! I rock! Consistency, baby, consistency!

Why are people staring at my kid? I see kids on leashes all the time. This should not be quite so amusing. I guess I'll turn around to see what is so funny.

OH MY GOODNESS! My two year old Hoot is face down, spread eagle on the germ laden Wal-Mart floor. I've been dragging my child from the tire center to the front aisle FACE DOWN and sprawled out. He doesn't even care?!?!?!?!? I'm defeated AGAIN.

And now I hope no one reports this.......

Great Mothering Moment #2:
Why does God trust me so much? I have two babies. Okay, they are seventeen months apart, but they are a handful. Did He really think I could handle this? Don't answer that. Ugh, I have to go to the Small Town Post Office. Why?? And the Small Town Post Office is always booming with people. Because we live in Small Town and seek to have communication with the outside world--so we go to the Post Office to seek such communications.

How will I avoid public embarrassment? Okay, I'll put the Professor in the stroller and I'll wear the baby. Right, Hoot will go in the pouch. No big deal and of course, T-Bird will stand with me. Okay, I can do this.

Well, that went relatively well. Post Office is still standing! Yesssss!

Now let's load these kiddos into the van and we'll be on our way. I rock! I'm so great! My kids are pretty fantastic too. Okay, Baby in. Check. Professor in. Check. T is in. Check. Let's blow this joint.

What is that noise? I'm backing up...there should be no grinding noice.

Holy cow! The stroller!!!! I forgot to load the stroller! I just ran over my stroller!!!!!

Okay, play it cool. Get out, retrieve your stroller and leave.

Oh, nice. Hi, nice to see I have an audience. I count seven confused faces. Hi. Hi. "Ooops. At least the baby wasn't in there." Yes, I just said that as I waved at my audience and threw my stroller in the van. Nice, Della, real nice. That's gonna go down as an infamous quote. Yep, you rock...

Great Mothering Moment #3 (all modesty is gone):
Almost finished with errands. We've accomplished a lot today. Errands, New Beginnings, Fayetteville run, now to finish up with a quick Wal-Mart run. In and out. In and out quick as a cricket. The boys have done really well today. Hoot will need a snack. I have some cheerio's that I can feed him in the store. All will be well.

This was supposed to be a quick run. Why am I moving so slowly? I'm so tired...........this is taking forever........I hear my name, where? "Oh, hey, Ellen!" Great, she sees me obviously exhausted and at my end. "No, I don't need any help. We're finishing up and Hoot is snacking on cereal. Thanks, good to see you too!!" {Why didn't I ask her for help?! I need some help. Our cart is overloaded and I'm truly shutting down. Dang, superwoman attitude!}

"Hi, how are you?" Why is everyone being so smiley to me today? Maybe they see how tired I am and are having sympathetic thoughts. Oh well, at least they are being nice.

Checked out, now to the truck. I wish Brett were here to unload this monolith of groceries and dog food...Wait, that's Brett!! I see his truck. Run, Della, run. Use up your energy waiving your husband down, he will save you. He's dropping off that new guy he is training to his truck. He's going to see you running and waiving like crazy. He's going to see you...He's..........not.......seeing.......you.....He's gone.

UGH. Let's load this mess of kids and goods.

Oh, great! Way to park right up against my truck, dude!

Two kids in. Other kid goes on the other side. Ugh, I bumped that car with my door. Ugh, ugh. There is an old Sudoku playing lady in the car. I mouth the words sorry and she nods. Whew. Now to finish loading the groceries. What is that man looking at my chest for? Just walk to your car, dude. Dude, what are you looking at my chest for?! NOOOOO, there is a cheerio ever so perfectly placed on my chest. That's right, I have a toasted oh nipple and have had for who knows how long. All of those Wal-Mart people smiles suddenly make sense.

Just get in the truck and call it a day, Della, call it a day.

Geez, I just bumped the Sudoku playing lady's car again. This time I'll emphasize my apology with big apologetic arm movements and slow motion talking. "I'm ssssoooooooo sssooorrrrryyyy!" Huh, she's nice, another sweet nod and a wave of the hand. She saw my cheerio nipple and felt sorry for me. I bet she tells her husband to park a little better next time.

And once again. I rock.

Being Conscious of My Treasures

2010-11-25T18:27:00.004-06:00

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

I hope I never loose my optimism. I hope I never cease to see the joy in the little, sometimes ridiculous things. My life is immeasurably blessed, and I praise the Lord and am ever so thankful for days of mercy and blessing.

I am thankful for the color blue--such a happy color.

I am thankful for a warm home when the weather does a 24 hour switch from 70 degrees to 30 degrees. {You rock, Arkansas weather!}

I am thankful for a husband who is absolutely amazing. {amazing, not perfect} He is a man who does not give in--he has a set of standards that he lives by and does not waver. Yet, in his relationship with others, he is so forgiving and kind. These characteristics make me love him even more.

I am thankful for T-Bird's kindness. I love that he has giggles in his innermost being. I love his want to learn new things, especially in the world of science and nature.

I am thankful for Professor X's tender heart. I enjoy his ever expanse vocabulary and his want to learn the definition of every word. "Mom, what exactly does appetite mean?" That was today's word of wonder.

I am thankful for Hoot's need to be almost animal like. He pounces everywhere. Always has and likely always will. I love his blond curls on his round head. I love how he says "I wudge you" in a sleepy voice. {That's "I love you" for those who don't speak Hootish}

I am thankful for my mom who lives just a stone's throw away. I am thankful that she has been my dear friend my entire life.

I am thankful for the sweet serendipities that are nothing other than the Lord working out the kinks in my path. I am thankful for the blessings and mercies He is working out as I sit here typing.

I am thankful for the joy in my belly. Oh, wait that's a baby--okay and joy. She is so close to being here. I have become tearful at the thought of meeting her over the past two days. I mean, I will KNOW her in just days!!! I'm so excited it makes my heart fill up and spill over. That would be the misty-eyes. {Am I silly?}

I am thankful for the people who let me tell the same baby stories over and over. I am thankful for the people who ask how I am and let me gush about my baby and don't seem annoyed with my talking incessantly about my little gal.

I am thankful for the bestest {yes bestest--so stellar that I had to break some grammar laws} prenatal care I have ever received.

I am thankful for my lovely, kind, and unwavering friends.

I am so blessed.

{Oh, and if that pic at the top looks familiar, that's because it's from last year's Thanksgiving. I didn't get all gussied up this year. I decided to just hang out and gestate.}

Prego Pics by T and Sasquatch Sightings

2010-11-15T09:05:00.009-06:00

Have I mentioned lately that I'm not getting around too swiftly these days? Yes, I'm waddling. I can't even pull it together to walk all cute and peppy in public. No, it's a waddle. My apologies to those who are having to witness the waddle.

I dropped my keys last night as I was leaving AWANA. I had just dropped off the boys and unlocked my door when those slippery little suckers fell to the ground. I stared at them for quite a while.

Should I bend over and pick them up? I really don't want to pick them up. I can do it. But I don't want to. Maybe I should go find someone to pick them up for me. Which would take more energy? Oh, geez, I guess I'll do it myself.

It was a close decision. And because I bent over to pick them up, that took up my reserve energy to stop by Braum's and get milk, eggs and cheese. Breakfast was interesting this morning...

I've been feeling a bit guilty because the boys and I have not been off on our amazing adventures. No, this Momma is quite the homebody these days.

Last week I really tried to make up for it. We went on a few small adventures and had a good time. {read: then I came home and took a two hour nap}

T-Bird is quite enamoured with skate boarding. I had said I would take him to the skate park while the riff-raff was in school. I just hate for my kids to be around smoke and cursing. Well, my Nanny called and took up quite a bit of time, so we went to another skate equipment-less park. But they did have smooth trails.

Hoot came along with us, but he was entirely upset that we were not at THE skate park and opted to carry his board. He's a nut.

T took random pics of me. Some are quite funny and I am NOT posting them. But here are some.

Me being sleepy on the bench.

This picture reminds me of the sasquatch sighting picture...

You know, this one:
Love this, me ordering one of the two around. They make me nervous sometimes.

Oh, wait! Another sasquatch sighting walk...Guess Hoot gets it honest.

You can tell I'm a little confused here as T tells me what to do. {He's so cool}

There he is!

Whoa, Brother, hang on to it!

I like this photo and point of view because it seems to scream, SHE'S HUGE! And that's okay with me.

Now this is ME! Goofy and showing out!

Well, that's as good as it gets. Actually, we had family pics taken yesterday!!! I'm super excited about them. I feel like shouting, Sasha rocks! But that's a post to come perhaps.

{this moment}

2010-11-12T10:40:00.004-06:00

Inspired by SouleMama: A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

The Thankful Season Days 3-12 (alt title You Thought I Forgot)

2010-11-12T08:50:00.006-06:00

But I didn't. However, our world did get shaken around. I think a good analogy would be to think of it as my world being in a snow globe and some very excited child came along and gave it a good whirl. Sounds like fun, but if you are the one in the globe being shaken...well, not so much.

In the great whirly whirl, I found myself feeling very broken and almost hopeless. (I should clarify that my immediate family is fine and has nothing to do with the whirly whirl) In that brokenness, I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't shut off the emotional pulls. How do you disconnect? Ugh. Well, I am no longer crying and no longer look like a pregnant zombie walking around the house. I did loose eight pounds during the most trying 3 days of this little adventure, the unintended consequences of sadness and stress. Not good, but I'm enjoying eating to my fullest to recover that precious weight for the baby's nourishment.

It takes a whole heap of desperation for me to reach out for help. I DO NOT like asking for help. After placing four phone calls and the last being the call that pulled it all together. It was as though someone had pushed the reset button and I began feeling hope-FULL.

I cannot tell you just how much God has prepared me for these days. Well, obviously I didn't respond like that initially. But I'm just thinking of how much the Esther study that I'm doing correlates with my life at this time. For one thing, God is not mentioned in the book of Esther. Huh?? Did you miss that before too? However, as Beth Moore points out, His name may not be in it, but He's all over it. As with this situation that breaks my heart, He may not seem to be in it, but He's all over it. And that is where I place my trust, hope and faith. Without that, I'm back to the pregnant zombie.

Sooooo, now that you know that I didn't forget to be thankful, just didn't feel like blogging it, I will now catch us up on our thankful list. Which is much happier than the above. :)

Adelia: I'm thankful for a friendship that came and took two of my kids after having sobbed profusely for 8 hours the previous day so that I could have a day of recovery and rest.

I'm thankful for jasmine tea with rose hips. I'm thankful for Sunday afternoons with my family. This shirt is way to billowy--I'm not that poofy!

I'm thankful for the mailbox full of notes and love that I received over the last few days. These people didn't even know that I was weepy or that they served my heart in such a beautiful way.

I'm thankful to be a stay at home Momma to three wonderful boys.

I'm thankful for my gift of compassion and empathy. (Just learning how to not let it overwhelm me)

I'm thankful for a husband who keeps me balanced.

I'm thankful for the sound of leaves being rustled by the wind as I sit here with my back door open.

I'm thankful for pink fuzzy slippers.

I'm thankful for a God who never leaves me.

T-Bird:

I'm thankful for my animal tracks book.

I'm thankful for Legos.
I'm thankful for Awana.

I'm thankful for Jesus.

I'm thankful for our dogs.

I'm thankful for my friendships.

I'm thankful for my skateboard.

I'm thankful for amazing animals. (he's my little scientist)
I'm thankful for our home.
I'm thankful for my Bible.

Professor X:

I'm thankful for playing with my friends.
I'm thankful for spending the night with Nane.

I'm thankful for watching fun movies.

I'm thankful for my brothers who I play with.

I'm thankful for my knights and castle.

I'm thankful for Awana.

I'm thankful for playing Sequence with my family.

I'm thankful for video games.

I'm thankful for my back yard.
I'm thankful for cuddling Momma.

Little Hoot:

I'm thankful for going to my friends.

I'm thankful for chocolate.

I'm thankful for scissors. (yikes!)

I'm thankful for cowboy boots.

I'm thankful for my dogs.
I'm thankful for Daddy.

I'm thankful for Go, Dog, go!

I'm thankful for playing outside.

I'm thankful for horses.
I'm thankful for going down the slide.

And today's quote from my favorite comic of all time: Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help. --Calvin and Hobbes

The Thankful Season, Day 2

2010-11-02T14:21:00.005-05:00

Well, this is the third day of having three hours or less of sleep. Hmmm, emotions are stirring. Yes, when I don't sleep I eventually get a little weepy. Weepy and a bit irrational. I bet I could pull off a few more nights before we hit that stage.

However, I just don't have time to have the emotional breakdown that I'm entitled to. (haha)

No, I have a bedroom that is only half primed and painted. My mother is painting for me in her spare time. Having a room undone makes my eyes twitch and my skin itch. It's not a pretty sight. Me twitching and itching that is--well, the room isn't much to look at either.

While I tried to steal a nap today, the little two--who have dubbed themselves Thing 1 and Thing 2 did this to the hall way outside the playroom. I'm unsure what was going on. Okay, never mind, I'm not going to go take a picture. Time consuming. Just know that someone threw a party in the hall. I wasn't invited.

I need to get to the post office to send off about 20 thank you notes, 5 hey how are you notes, 12 look at how cute my kids are pictures, and one large package. Small Town Post Office, how you evade me! Three rambunctious kids, how you make Small Town Post Office such a challenge!

I have what seems to be a monolith of laundry in the middle of my floor right now. I despise laundry. The puke fest that transpired recently only added to the already massive pile.

{Side note: I didn't expect the number of times I would be puked on, peed on or pooped on as a mother. Brett has yet to be puked on! Last time I had the pleasure of such dynamics, I looked at Brett and said, ONE DAY---IT'S GOING TO BE YOU!!! I was in my first trimester with this baby. I can't be blamed for such strong words.}

I need to vacuum my entire house and shampoo the carpets. Having the windows open is wonderful...BUT, the lovely allergens that fly in must be executed!

I have to buy another refrigerator. Our refrigerator has been dying and springing to life for some time now. It finally lost all hope and went on to fridge heaven this weekend. We've been living out of a cooler and a deep freeze. Thank you Grandma Nell for that freezer a few years ago!!! But finding a refrigerator takes time and effort. Something I'm running low on these days. The cooler seems to be the solution for now.

Dishes and mopping are waiting for me. I've been keeping up with at least shining my sink, but the previously mentioned puke fest has delayed a lot of my greatness. I'm a bathroom disinfecting queen! That's pretty great, right?!

My to do list could continue indefinitely, but that's overwhelming to me so I'll stop.

So, here I am using my time wisely and blogging. We'll lump that into stress management. A useful tool to head off the emotional breakdown I'm entitled to but not going to have.

And without further unrelated ado, here is today's thankful list:

Adelia: My baby has been in breech position. Not only breech, but she has been doing this awesome stick her head up in Momma's sternum so she can move Momma's ribs out and Momma can throw up for hours while sweating and crying in pain trick. Oh, it has been really, really awesome. So, I had been working on trying to flip her for some time now. Knee chest position, laying on an inclined ironing board, angry cat stretches, frozen peas on top of my fundus {that's not dirty word, that the top of my uterus}, rubbing in a circular motion over my belly to encourage her to move down...And then last Tuesday came--I felt a tightening and swirling without big visual nudges on the outside of my belly. After the movement ended, I ran in to tell Brett that I was nearly positive the baby moved and encouraged him to feel how mushy my fundus was. {Once again, not a dirty word} Yesterday's midwife appointment confirmed my suspicions. My baby is all set to go. Just a few more weeks and a few more pounds on her part. I am thankful for a non-breech baby! I am thankful for those who knew of the situation and prayed for me, my back, and the baby!!

T-Bird: I'm thankful for Star Wars. Star Wars Legos, books, my own artwork and drawings of characters... {Lego really turned him on to Star Wars.}

Professor X: I'm thankful for sometimes spending the night with Grandma. {Brett's mom}

Little Hoot: Um, spending the night with Nane. {My mom}

And today's quote: We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are. Calvin and Hobbes

So, I'll spend the rest of the day taking care of my household business and enjoying where I am--even if it's here with a long to do list, twitchy eyes and a sleep deprived brain. It's my life. :)

The Thankful Season, Day 1

2010-11-01T08:49:00.004-05:00

It's here! November is finally here! I can remember being five weeks pregnant and thinking, December is so far away. I always have the longest pregnancies...And here we are on the cusp of December. Ironically, this pregnancy has seemed to zoom by--not sure if I'm completely thankful for that. It is my last pregnancy after all.

How I adore the magic of Autumn. Are there people in the world who despise fall? I'm sure there has to be, much like I loathe 100+ degree, humidity drenched Arkansas summers. Seriously, the pool isn't quite so great when it's warm. I always feel like I'm swimming in germs--Now a creek, it's always cold and those germs seem much cleaner. But back to the wonderfulness of fall.

I'm more than disappointed that I'm not able to go on amazing outdoor adventures with my family as we do every fall. This pregnant momma tires a little too easily these days. Something about being a mom to 3, functioning for a family of 5, being exotic and mysterious for my husband, and incubating one lovely baby for at least another 6 weeks. I'm just kind of done.

{I'm pretty sure Brett has never thought of me as exotic nor mysterious. Maybe that's why it's so exhausting to try.}

This season my greatness is small. But you know me and know that I thrive on small wonders. Yes, little things make me squeal with delight. The beauty of an acorn will always make my heart race. Acorns--magical little things.

The boys and I are celebrating the season of being thankful and recognizing our blessings.

Today is November 1st and with it comes the first list:

Adelia: I am thankful for childish urges. Even when I'm exhausted, I cannot resist the urge to tromp through the freshly fallen tapestry of leaves that covers our back yard. Oh, heck. Might as well pile 'em up and give it a good go. Brownies for breakfast, cleaning my house in fairy wings (yes, I do--have since I lived alone in college--you should try it--when I remember to don the wings, cleaning is more enjoyable), dancing with joy--even in public, laughing too loud, never hiding my excitement. Yes, I have childish urges. Thankful for those ridiculous urges.

T-Bird: He's in a serious mood today. With that he's given a serious answer: I'm thankful for my family.

Professor X: I'm thankful for making brownies with Momma. {the way to that kid's heart is through a little refined thing called sugar, perhaps you've heard of it}

Little Hoot: I'm thankful for Ninja costumes. {Side note: Hoot used to pronounce ninja as jeenya and would walk around saying, I'm a jeenya, nice to meetcha. So adorable.}

I would also like to share a beautiful quote with you:

Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.~Kate Douglas Wiggin

Doesn't that make you feel just wonderful inside??

We're off to enjoy the possibilities of today.

Fire and Bowling

2010-10-25T11:15:00.007-05:00

What do those two things have in common?

You think nothing.

But I say--my boys.

Speaking of unrelated things. I met a neato couple a couple of weeks ago and the husband mentioned a game they play with their family. You take two unrelated words and make a sentence out of them. The husband's example was 'placenta' and ...well, now I forgot, but it was a food item. Anyway, super fun idea. {I won't go into how those two are actually related.}

We recently were able to enjoy the first fire of fire pit season at my mom's. Professor X kept saying that he was such an awesome camper. Yep, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over an open flame makes you an awesome camper.

I just noticed that the Professor is wearing a shirt that reads awesome with an arrow pointing up. Guess it's true. And doesn't T-Bird look like he is sporting macho-thug attitude. I'm going to write that off to having a bright light flash at you in the dark of night. And of course, Hoot is not looking anywhere near where he should be. Why should that change now?

I happen to think these may be some of the most handsome fire men around.

Now to bowling. Ah, the benefits of homeschooling. If you are a homeschooler in my Small Town, you have the opportunity to bowl once a month on a Monday morning. What better way to kick off a Monday and a school week. Fun, fun, fun.

We also learned something during our bowling session. Professor X is a great bowler...accidentally. Well, maybe not accidentally. There is definitely a method to his madness. He is nothing if not thorough and methodical. Anyway, he bowled an 88. Not too shabby for a 38 lb kid.

T-Bird's score was a little low, but he was working on the correct technique. With some more practice, he'll have a high score in the near future.

He runs back like Mr Cool. Nice stride!

This thing looks so lanky! Let me give you a better view of what had been going on:

Am I the only one who thinks that kid is a funny nut!!?? Every time he bowled it went a little something like that.

Just another random glimpse into our lives and my small wonders who make me smile.

Baby Talk: This and That and a Name

2010-10-22T16:40:00.004-05:00

Seven weeks and a handful of days to go! My, my. Excitement is finally starting to takeover my body. I know, I know--it's about time.

So, here I sit trying to savor every moment left in this pregnancy. Haven't I told you? We are so shutting down the baby factory after this.

It's a bit unnatural for me to think of not having a baby in my womb ever again.

While I cannot wait to meet this child, I find myself hoping that the days linger. Wishing that I feel her kicks, nudges and intimate conversation in slow motion. Loving the moments when only I know that she's sleeping, hiccuping, or dancing. She's only talking to me. She's my sweet pea. Okay, now I'm starting to get a little bleary-eyed.

Ridiculous that I'll always want to have more children. But that's a door we are going to shut. Brett and I are on the same page with this decision. Such a difficult decision.

My little boys blue are absolutely precious when it concerns the baby. Professor X is my most aware and loving toward her. He snuggles her and rubs my belly. He talks to her in sweet whispers. I have to ask him to repeat what he says. Here's a bit of the chatter heard:

You know you're going to have to come out of there one day.

I wonder what day you will be born. What will your birthday be?

I wonder if your going to love sugar like me?

I can't wait to meet you. {okay, that melted my heart}

Ya, the Professor is a deep, loving fellow.

Let's switch trains and get onto the care provider track. I love my midwife. She's borderline awesome. Okay, no, she's awesome! I cannot tell you here my thousand and one reasons why I'm glad we've chosen this route {I will if you ask me in person}, but I have such a feeling of peace and trust in it.

Anyway, my boys love to be able to hold the doppler and listen to the baby. Hoot has cracked me up every time he does it. The first time to use the doppler, he held it in one hand and rested his head in the other as if doopty-doo, no big deal...done this before. And then this last time Janessa asked if he wanted to listen to the baby. He said yes and pressed his ear to my belly. Oh. So. Precious.

Then there is the appointment when my kids started raving about how fun it is to blow raspberries on my belly. Janessa loved the story and encouraged T-Bird to give it a go right then. Of course, T doesn't shy away from impulsive behavior and gave it his all followed by the other two littles................Followed by............my midwife.....Yes, she did and we all laughed. These are the important benefits of having a midwife. You have to know what counts. :)

32 weeks. Something like 4 lbs and 17 inches or so. That's half of my babies. Yes, my kiddos were 8lbs, 8lbs 13oz, and 8lbs 10 oz. I should say that I have dreamed that she weighs 7lbs 4 oz when she is born...we'll see. I wouldn't know what to do with something so tiny.

I'm very, very tired these days. I'm praying for energy and wisdom in how I use my energy. Precious, precious energy. How I covet thee.

And without further ado, Brett has given me permission to reveal her first name.

Dutt, dutta, duh------Alaina.

So, Baby Alaina will be here sometime in December. Yeeeeee!!! Are you squealing with delight as well??

We love Alaina because it has ties to Brett's name and my name begins and ends with an A. So, she'll have a bit of Brett and I while being her own little person. We also found out a couple of weeks ago that if Brett were to have been a girl, his mother had picked out the name Alaina. Kind of makes it seem like God has his hands all over the design of my family, huh?

I'm Being Followed

2010-10-16T08:34:00.005-05:00

As I was crossing our street to gather the mail from our mailbox, I had this feeling. Someone was looking at me. Someone was walking with me. Someone was with me!

I turned around and there she was. She's tallish and dark and rotund...
I don't think I've paid much attention to my pregnant shadow. For whatever reason, I noticed her yesterday. I was wearing a knee length skirt, but my dear shadow friend seems to go on forever.

And then T-Bird took some photos of me. Which I now realize, there are not many of myself out there. These were okay-ish, so I thought I'd share.

Why do I hold my arm up like this?? I do it ALL the time! I'm confused.

Ooops, you can see a bit of pregnant belly there.

Ugh, there's the hand/arm again. I'm a strange, strange woman!

My other thought here is that I will never be free of my 'thinking' spot. That spot between my all too light eyebrows. That spot that has spent years thinking, understanding, concentrating...Yes, I will always have it. Which leads to the next thought, I have a sweet spot on my lower lip. A dark freckle/mole. So don't tell me I have something on my bottom lip--It's always there. Despite the many a friend have have tried to move it for me thinking it was a bit of something else. Thank you dear friends.

So, here you go--this is a rare glimpse of who I am today, er, yesterday.

Name This Baby!

2010-10-08T12:13:00.005-05:00

I have a secret. Well, not so much a secret since I've told several people. Our baby girl has been named since 19 weeks. Unheard of in this family! Brett and I always wait until the last minute to name our kids. We each make a list during the home stretch and mark each others according to likes and dislikes. That's the way we've always done it. The lists eventually get whittled down, we discuss it and find the perfect name for our baby.

To have named her so early was a little nutty and seemingly too easy. But it's stuck with us for the past eleven weeks.

Until I asked my dear husband if he wanted me to publicly proclaim her name on facebook...Should have known.

Brett: No, just in case we change our minds.
Me: What??????!!!!! Well, what other name do you like, Brett?
Brett: I dunno. {and off he went}
Me: ????????

So, here is a list of names that we definitely know our baby will not be named:

Sophia
Susan, Susannah, Suzie
Stella {I named my gun Stella because I had given up hope of having a girl. She is mentioned here}
Layla {I love Layla}
Kate
Hazel
Iva {Love, love Iva. Inspired by Brett's Aunt Iva Jean who has the voice of a beautiful ringing bell}
Ava {I thought I'd be sneaky and just change the /I/ to /A/ and then Brett would like it. Didn't work. And apparently I'm very much out of the girl loop because Ava is in the top 5 most popular names.}
Emily {I have a good friend named Emily so that would seem strange-ish}
Ciara, Sierra {Love. Brett says its too 'western' for our family}
Calista
Louisa {My great grandmother was a Louise}
Caroline {This name seems so sweet and beautiful to me}
Victoria
Neveah
Wren
Beth {My grandma was a Betty}
Rose-of-Sharon {My bff from college days middle name. I told her I would name my daughter after her. Brett has balked that idea from the beginning. I'm trying to figure out how to make this a nickname or something for her.}
Isabel {We love Isabel, but we have so many Bella, Isabelle, Isabella friends}
Julia
June
Lily
Lydia
Miriam {Even though I have a friend named Miriam I was willing to go for it}
Olivia
Vivian
Natalie {Love Natalie despite that point of not liking it during the Facts of Life days}

Now, for those who have asked and I've told, please keep the Baby Girl name on the down low still. We'll likely use it. But there is a 5% chance that Brett will discover a new amazing name for our child.

Only 9 weeks and 4 days to go. {give or take a day or two}

Oh, and feel free to apply peer pressure to Brett for him to make a decision. He likes it. Hahaha.

The Homeschool Files: Can I Be Honest With You?

2010-10-05T07:58:00.006-05:00

alternate title: this is how it goes

Man, I so got this. We are on our way to the creek for a story, science experiment and a craft. I am awesome! My kids have a great life.

Those are the thougts that were rushing through my egotistical mind a couple of weeks ago. I take the kids somewhere in our Small Town or the vicinity and read a book and do a little something extra one day a week. What kid wouldn't like that?

We got to the creek, started our story and.....the meltdowns and chaos attacked us! Are you kidding me!!??? I put out all of this effort and even remembered snacks and drinks! What is wrong with my kids? Don't they know that I'm one woman carrying one in utero baby whose attempting greatness for their delight?!!!

Yep, that's how some of our days go. I'm such a perfectionist that it's really difficult for me to fail and adjust. I'm getting better. Apparently, you learn patience when you choose home education. Somedays, the patience well is dry.

On this particular day, we scrapped the whole great idea I had and continued on our walk. Inside I was still stewing from my kids behavior but trying not to drain them with constant chastisement. It was done, moving on.

They got five minutes of play at the creek before leaving for our walk. There had to be some sort of consequence, but I couldn't waste a bit of greatness at the creek.

Here is the bow and arrow referenced a couple of posts ago.

And that's when our day was salvaged.

By something so small and great. T-Bird was the first to think of the idea. Some of you know of our obsession with these.

Yes, mushroom finds make everyday great. We started a mushroom count/hunt along our walk.

We counted 29 along our walk excluding the countless cluster mushrooms. And that's what turned our day around. The kids apologized for their behavior and asked for me to read to them when we got home.

And that's how somedays go. Some days are stinky. Some days are awesome. You just go with it.

We chose home education. We love our home education. Most days are super-duper awesome.

There are days when I shout for joy, We homeschool and we are amazing!

Then there are days when I think, I could send two of these kids to school and it would be just me and Hoot! Hallelujah! But I don't want to send my kids to school. Shoot, the biggest reason being that I can't get my own glad-rags on in time to get them to school. Yes, we get up early. No, that does not mean I function fully early.

The beauty of homeschooling:

1. My kids are always with me.

2. I get to choose their sphere of influence(for now).

3. I know exactly where they are academically.

4. All of our life is learning.

5. Despite its name, we can do our school work ANYWHERE! Outside, inside, at the park, in the woods, at our friends and families. We cannot be contained!

6. I see my children's development and firsts of almost everything. (absolutely priceless)

7. I choose my kiddos' curriculum. Content is oh so important. I feel like there is a method to the madness. (Here's a side note: Even though we are Christians I don't shield my kids from thought that we don't necessarily agree with. Like, oh say, evolution. We have lots of books and nature DVDs that reference things that are a little iffy to us. I don't fear that that is going to be the deal breaker for my kids' faith. I do feel that if I blacked it out of books and forwarded through shows that would show my own weakness and my lack of faith in our beliefs. Not a big deal.)

8. I get to work on character building with them.

9. We establish trust and friendship. (not that you don't if you choose another education avenue.)

10. We choose our schedule. (Wanna take half of December and January off for holiday fun, winter enjoyment and baby recovery--have at it!)

The ugly of homeschooling:

1. My kids are always with me. (Yes, this was on the beauty list as well)

2. Comparison to other homeschoolers.

3. You are solely in charge of your kid's education.

4. It takes a while to find your groove and your kid's learning style. (Thank the Lord for grace an mercy)

5. Sometimes I loose my identity. Some days I'm just a stay at home mom of three little boys, home educating....and....do I do anything else?....who am I?....what day is it?....do I only have mom clothes?....

6. You live in your house with three ragamuffin children 24 hours a day. Mud, laundry, dishes...Home keeping is sometimes a challenge.

7. Some days you just don't want to do your schoolwork, er, you don't feel like making your children rather.

8. Your kids feel neglected because they see the big yellow bus go by every day and have yet to ride on one. (Next summer on the hottest day I hope to arrange and dirt road bus ride. Shoot, my kids would probably think that was great too. I hated the bus. Kids smell so bad and the bus just magnified it!)

9. Judgement-both self imposed and from family and acquaintances.

For us, the beauty is worth the ugly.

That's just a glimpse into our honest to goodness homeschooling world. A beautiful thing.

The Good Report

2010-10-01T07:34:00.005-05:00

It's been a while since I've given a numbered account of all things good in my world. Guess I'll give it a go today.

1. Hot Chocolate. Not just any hot chocolate. Steamed milk and plain, old, wonderful Ghirardelli chocolate. Not too sweet--perfect.

2. Early Sunday morning calls asking for a favor. You know the kind where your midwife asks if you'd volunteer to have a free prenatal massage because she needs one more obviously pregnant woman to fill in for the class she's teaching. I had a hard time saying yes...NOT! Thank you Sunday afternoon one hour and a half massage. You were good to me.

3. Every morning I hear three separate thuds from my kids room. They literally jump out of their bed. Then they come in with a groggy Good morning, Momma and the sweetest hugs. They are so sweet first thing in the mornings. {Read into that what you will}

4. Don't know why, but this picture makes me happy--Therefore it gets on the good report.

5. I so, so want this travel system. However, I have not decided yet if the fourth child gets such a splurge. Until the big decision, I'm quite happy admiring it on a daily basis online.

6. Brett: Hey Belly, Belly. {That's my nickname these days} as he walks by and rubs my baby belly. Me: You like my belly? Brett: Ya, but I really like the you under the belly. {Aw, shucks. He says the most romantic things.}

7. Beth Moore's Esther Bible study. It's just what I need at just the right time. The subtitle is It's Tough Being a Woman. Right now I think it should say, It's Tough Being a Woman When Your Name is Adelia. Very thankful for this study!!!

8. Pictureka Card game. This little card game has salvaged many a days over the past few weeks. Ooops, kid about to have a melt down? Who wants to play Pictureka?! And the drawings are reminiscent of Brett and his friend Justin's drawings from high school. They are crude and slightly gross. What all great art is made of.

9. Friendships that know no distance or time barriers. My best friend from high school is entirely too good to me. She sent a package with items from my registry and a cute little monkey outfit. You can check her life out here. And my best friend from college/early Brett days. She just sent me a box full of baby clothes. I don't know why they love me so, but I'm blessed to have them!

10. The fact that I have prego brain and have not yet misplaced one of my children. Yes, that is good!

The Happiest Place on Earth

2010-09-27T08:38:00.007-05:00

I interview my kids from time to time and take note of their favorite things. One of the questions is: Where is your favorite place to go and spend time.

With 3 boys, you would think you would get varied answers. My boys were all asked separately and all answered the same...Ms Ande's!!!

Ms Ande also has 3 boys. 3 very outgoing, adventurous, slightly wild/slightly tamed boys. We love them! And they live out in the country where rules likely exist but don't always get enforced. A place where dirt abounds, the great outdoors appeals to there neanderthal senses, and where they just roam for hours and hours. My boys love, love, love Ms Ande's. Did I mention they love it?

We went over to hang out for a play date not too long ago. Ooops, not so sure if that was a good idea. Sure, everything went fantastically...You see, my kids picked up a new obsession.

Bows and arrows. Not toy bows and arrows...Real bows and arrows and quivers and sore fingers...They are in love.

T-Bird has shot before at camp, but there is something so manly about doing it with your friends. Ha.

You had Ande trying to encourage him and let him have a go without too much input. Then you had her peanut gallery giving any and all directions. They crack me up.

I'm sorry, but I think this kid is so cute. He's so tiny compared to the bow and even his friends. Somedays, I think he is so big and then these moments make me aware that he's still my little guy. Shhhh, don't tell him I said that.

T-Bird has had practice since this day. His elbow isn't quite as high and his shot has really improved. It's quite startling and wonderful altogether.

The other kids did really well about giving T his space. Ya, I don't have a picture of Hoot...He layed relatively low on this day. But here is the Professor with his friend. A rocket blaster. Another bit of greatness.

Now the boys are all asking for a bow and arrows. Hmmm...the little two...hmmm....I don't think they will be getting a real one. T-Bird is saving his money and we'll likely allow it. Hoot definitely not. Even though he literally talks out loud in his sleep at night about shooting his arrows. We did go get a toy one just because he was talking about it and dreaming about it constantly. Yes, talking in his sleep every night about a bow and arrow. And since owning it, it has been taken away. Something about having an awesome aim and shooting Professor X directly in the throat. Oh dear, life with that kid.

I wonder how much our play dates will change with the addition of our baby girl. Probably not too much. She's going to have an awesome aim and then tea afterward. Something like that.

Seen and Heard: Sept 2010

2010-09-20T08:00:00.002-05:00

Professor X:
Prof: Momma, can I tell the baby something?
Me: Sure.
Prof: {places his little mouth up to my belly and begins to whisper}
Me: What did you say?
Prof: I told her, you know you are going to have to come out of there someday.

We were getting ready to go out and I was helping the Professor X with his shoes. I heard him mumbling something about running fast. So I asked, When are you going to run fast? His answer, Right about the time I get these shoes on.

Here's a good example of Mr. Sunshine vs Mr. Grump.
The Professor woke up to Little Hoot saying, Good Morning, Ax {what Hoot calls the Prof}.
Prof: It's not a good morning to me. {grumpy, shmumpy tone}
Hoot: It is. See! The sun is up!
Oh the life of a sanguine vs a melancholy. Fight the good fight, Hoot!

Little Hoot:
Hoot began running his fingers through my hair. You should know that Hoot has the sweatiest little hands. This combined with my curly hair equals a maddening sensation for me. Anyway, I was letting him wrap his hands in my hair for a moment when he said, your hair is kind of like a dinosaur, right! I don't even pretend to understand this kid.

T-Bird:
The family was just sitting around one evening when out of no where, T-Bird had a look of surprise and disappointment all at once and declared, Oh, I forgot! I was going to burn something today! Oh, shoot. I sure do wish he had remembered to burn something....NOT! Ugh. At least, he allows me to know before he attempts such greatness.

Brett was sure to point out that our baby is due in exactly 3 months. I started panicking a bit. T asked what was going on and I let him know that the baby will be here soon and I have soooooo much to do before she arrives. He threw his hands in the air and looked at me as though I had completely lost it and says, Well, you shouldn't have taken that pregnant test if you weren't ready for a baby!? Those pregnant tests...causing pregnancies...I posted that on Facebook. But I didn't post the rest of the comment. There are those that think I'm great at mothering and the following statement could cast some doubt on that. T continued with, You should have asked me, I could have told you that you weren't ready! That combined with the fact that T-Bird has memorized his brothers birthdates so that he can help check them into childcare...Oh, AND the time he doubted that I could take care of twins and was giving me pointers on how to deal with it if it happened....kinda makes me think this kid doesn't think his Momma has it all together. BUT, I think it really has to do with oldest child syndrome. I was an oldest child and kept my Momma in line. I don't know how she would have made it without me. Har har.

Anyway, I'm sure I have forgotten some of my favorite quips and quotes from this month, but my kids have shanghaied the TV and have Boz the Bear going...Seriously cannot think with Box in the background. Which means this post has come to an end.

Is There an Echo In Here?

2010-09-10T07:29:00.005-05:00

Just to illustrate Hoot's nuttiness:

We have a new neighbor. That neighbor seems to think that my house is not just a second home but his home altogether. While I want our home to be the gathering place--there are boundaries. Boundaries our dear friend doesn't yet grasp. In an effort to help him, my kids are not always allowed to play with him. Especially on whiny, no room picking up days. It's a tight ship. You should pray for my mistreated children.

I was tidying the house and could here Hoot in the background. You should know that yes, sometimes I tune my children out to a degree. I knew Hoot was yelling at his friend through a closed window. I knew that he had been doing this for a little while. Then I stopped to truly listen. Yep, he was doing it again. So desperate. Such a far off dream. He was doing his own echo.

He'll often say, Mom, I need a drink, drink, drink...{voice fading} Or cockadoodledoo, doo, doo....

Because he is a nut. Here is my nut calling to his friend.

Notice that he ends with, he's coming...Had to head that one off.

The Homeschool Files: Winged Things

2010-08-31T07:37:00.012-05:00

It's that magical time of year again where the smell of school supplies overwhelms the senses and puts a smile on my face. I love school supplies, office gadgets and stationary. It's an instant stress buster for me. Perhaps I love them still since I don't have to purchase supplies from a list. I get to choose what we need. This year's exotic purchases were a notebook, graph paper and a 3 ring binder. We had everything else we needed from our previous years.

Our notebook is at the ready for little hands to practice in. The graph paper helps T-Bird hone in his crazy I'll write them anywhere math problems.

Me: Show me where you worked problem 12, T.

T: Umm....Right there in the middle of the page next to number 3.

Me: Ack!

But this post is not about notebooks or anything sit down schooly. {New word alert}

Nope, this is about our first field trip of the year. Woo-hoo! And best of all, Daddy was able to join us this time!!

On National Aviation Day, we went with some fellow homeschoolers to our local air museum. It was visually stimulating to the kids, as you might imagine. Brett and I need to go back on our own just so we can read all the different accounts and such. Fascinating stuff.

Eye candy for the kids:

Me: T, would you like to be in that kind of plane?

T: YA!

Me: Great.

Yep, looks like just the kind of contraption a mother would like her son to be inside.

Okay, Brett and T-Bird definitely have similar body postures.

This is reason 1,235 that I love my husband. He has such a wealth of knowledge--a little of this and a little of that. Brett just happens to be passionate about history and military information. Handy for this day.

Funny, funny. 3 year old pilots, anyone??!

People from all over the world have come to this museum...even from this little island ever so far away. Bizarre.

Soooooooo hhhhhotttttttt!

Run to the coolness of air conditioning!

Where a good day becomes great:

Something you should know about this little family is that we often take the back way home. A slower road, lonely highway is much more appealing than the busy-ness of the thoroughfare. You should also know that our truck is equipped for outdoor greatness at any time. Tackle, fishing poles, cooler, chairs, life preservers, buckets, nets, magnifying glasses, binoculars...Which makes a pull-over on the way home all the more enjoyable.

This pull-over started with Brett asking, "Do you want to stop by the lake and let the boys throw rocks for a while?" This should be interpreted as, "Honey, I smell water and would really like to drop my hook in for a little while."

Who will move first?

Trying really hard to be still.

Hoot asked permission to "let him go." Sweet boy, he really did stand there for what seemed like forever.

Moths and butterflies were all around. It was so neat to have them encircle us and just land and hang out for moments at a time. We could see so much of their details, even a close up look at its proboscis. Which lead to a review in pollinators and the different types of pollinators for different types of flowers. Just wonderful!

What you may not see is tens and tens of butterflies and moths on the ground. We would walk through and they would just fly up all around. On the ground, they just look like rocks.

Caterpillars were all around.

Jumpy frog....

That my kid really wanted to catch....

This butterfly seemed to lead our every move. It finally landed and let me snap a picture.

What a beautiful field trip of a day!

Calico Critters It Is

2010-08-18T07:52:00.004-05:00

Here I sit at 23 weeks pregnant, and I wonder how did we get here? A little over 10 weeks ago, I was really starting to wonder if I would make it through this pregnancy at all. I've always had a pretty good case of morning sickness with every pregnancy, but this one---well, it was so different. I was so dizzy that I couldn't even drive, Brett became the mother for a while, and I held down the couch for a good month or so while wearing ever so stylish motion sickness bands.

And weird things would make me nauseous--like the color of my sheets. They are a dark brown and I love them. Yet the sight of them was vomitous. Yes, vomitous. (I think I made that word up) Which is why I didn't sleep in my own bed. I was craving crisp white sheets...??!!...No, I didn't go out and buy new sheets, mostly because I couldn't drive myself to the store. But we'll pretend that it was because I'm not impulsive. No, not impulsive at all. That's why I threw away our plunger because it grossed me out at around 9 weeks pregnant...and two days later Hoot used a whole role of toilet paper for his tiny bum. Guess what bathroom tool I needed...Yes, I don't give in to impulsive behavior. I am always level headed.

I can tell you that when I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't immediately hope for a girl like I had with the previous babies. My first thought was a prayer of protection over my growing baby. When we found out that we were pregnant with our fourth baby I prayed protection and for a girl. I wonder sometimes if my gender side of the prayer was stronger than the protection side. I know I couldn't have prevented that miscarriage, but it has shaped quite a bit of my thoughts and personal growth over the last 2 years. With this baby I just wanted a baby in 9 months. Does that make sense? Sure a girl would be icing on the top, but I didn't 'have to have' her.

My mom's first reaction was, "This is our baby girl!" I remember shushing her and saying something like, "And if it's not, he'll be awesome like the other three." Brett also seemed to be convinced that we were having a girl as well. Which annoyed me because I was trying to stay emotionally detached. Seriously, I was not going to get wrapped up in that again.

I can tell you that I had been praying in the months preceding our pregnancy that if God gave us another child that she be a healthy baby girl. I would plead with God to hear my voice and to answer my heart's desire. After our miscarriage, I was so thankful to have my boys that I tried to convince myself that it would be okay if I never had my baby girl. And it worked for about a year and then it came back stronger and stronger.

So, before Brett and I were ever together I would pray for our time together to be blessed and if a baby were to come about that we would conceive a girl. No, we were not trying. But considering that we conceived a baby with less than a 1% chance of doing so with Hoot...I always pray about babies.

Which brings us to the ultrasound at 17 weeks. I had prayed that if we were not having a girl that God give me a dream just as he had previously with the boys, but I had been having girl dreams. I even dreamed how much she weighed, very detailed dreams. {I'm not sure how much stock I put in that since I've also dreamed about riding on the hood of the pizza delivery guy's car in Little Rock before}

As we arrived at our appointment, there was such a calm among the family. We had the same ultra-sound tech as we had in the past. She refers to all babies as he until she finds out otherwise. It didn't bother me this time. The boys were so, so excited to see the baby in my belly. T immediately put in a request for his own sonogram machine so he could 'look at his insides' whenever he wanted.

On the screen, the baby looks so big and Hoot was thrilled and said, "I will hold it in a minute." As if the baby were to come out at anytime. Brett and I later discussed and realized we both had this same thought, It's okay if we have a boy. Our boys are awesome. We do boys well. And that's when the tech said, I think I know what you are having. It's a girl. Me with tears: You think I could have a girl??!!

So there we were excited and out of our comfort zone. You would think that we would shout it from the roof tops. But I found myself in a quiet and processing the newness of it all. A girl.

Then when we finally told people, some of our friends and family said the dreaded words, Are you sure? Oh, come on!! Really??

You should also understand that I had looked up gender identification photos online as soon as we got home to compare. A call to my cousin in Little Rock who is a sonogram tech led to us traveling to LR for a second ultra-sound. AND it's a GIRL! For real! With a perfect girl sign and view to see her umbilical cord as well. There are no extra pieces.

Praising the Lord for answering my prayer and heart's desire.

Special shout out to those who have journeyed with me through the years and have also prayed for us to have a daughter and believing that we one day would. Thanks to those who listened to me sort through my thoughts in that first trimester. I have the best support and friends.

So here she is:

She's beautiful and loves to relax. She even gave us a wave then propped her leg up and touched her finger to her chin. Such a silly, sweet girl already.

We are so blessed and so thankful.........and in a new world. A good world. A world full of possibilities and finally----Calico Critters!!!

Writing Motherhood: Entry 1

2010-08-04T17:33:00.010-05:00

I started a little exercise over the past year--I have been keeping Motherhood Journals. I'm not good at journaling, especially chronologically or even daily. I have beaten myself up for years because I don't record every stinkin' milestone that my kiddos have achieved. No, there is no time, date, place, smell for all of that. And then one day I realized, that's okay. I'm not that mom....I'm me. And I'm pretty good at it. My Writing Motherhood entries come from just a thought or even a picture, it may be today or 3 years ago, or perhaps it's my childhood view of motherhood. Regardless, I'm taking time to write almost daily on my time line on my thoughts. It's a good thing. I thought I'd start sharing an entry a week. Perhaps that's too structured in itself...We shall see. So, without further ado, typos, fragment sentences, in and out of tenses and all--here is a look into my Writing Motherhood. It's like reading my mind: be warned.

Sorting boxes of junk in the garage. Geez, it's hot! Why am I sorting the garage during the dog days of summer??!! Sort, sort, sort. Trash, trash, trash....What?...Treasure. How did this get out here? It's T-Bird's photo flip book of pictures from his birth. How many times have I flipped through this? I know and remember every detail of that time.

How I wanted to meet that kid! Brett and I were both so excited to meet him. We were so full of joy we even goofed around in the parking lot--maybe that wasn't joy--maybe we were and are just weird. Teasing and posing for pictures. We were going to get a baby that day! The world was about to become an amazing place.

Golly, I was tiny. I'm wearing a stinkin' medium sized regular t-shirt at 41 weeks pregnant. Oh, to go back 8 years...I'll not think of that now. Ya, I'll pull a Scarlet O'Hara, I'll think of it tomorrow.

Jack Johnson's Brushfire Fairytales playing in the background.

In that moment, we became a family.

Brett looks so handsome. I love the way he wears his watch. A watch certainly makes a man more attractive. The way he holds the baby and looks at him.

Haha, this is before he could grow full on facial hair. Now, he's a burly, hairy guy. Hahahaha, not really, but it's definitely humorous to me.

Brett just fell in love with a tiny bundle.

The nurse enters with my baby boy. "He's hungry, Momma." Without even thinking of how to do it, I held my baby to my breast and the little wolverine latched on perfectly. We did it! Truly a hungry baby. He snorted and shook his head back and forth--quite ravenous. I had to giggle.

And there I was, a nursing momma!!

Flip. Photo. Flip. Ya, I remember those days. And then the photo that cracked me up. Looked at it a hundred times, yet today it strikes me as the most intriguing. How young I was. How uncertain yet entirely certain all at once.

Except for this! How do you put clothes on a baby??!!!

Oh my! Help!!

I'm trying little baby.

Okay, this and that goes here...maybe--My you are a squiggly wiggly thing!

Okay, there! Got it! Yes, the baby is now wearing socks! I did it!!

Now to put this thing on him. Okay, but I don't want to move his head too much...and these arms keep moving....What am I going to do??? Laugh and laugh again.

Good one. Thanks for snapping that picture, Mom.

Oh, wait...Momma, can you dress my baby??

And like a good Momma/Nanna. She did. She dressed my baby in his going home outfit.

The beginning...

What a beautiful beginning.

How Little Boys Impress Little Girls

2010-07-29T20:01:00.002-05:00

Or should the title be Thoughts From the Third Row??

T-Bird sat in the third row with Professor X. Second row consisted of Hoot and two little girls T's age. One of the little girls just happened to be T's first Small Town friend. The first row, me and my momma, were able to catch this prideful phrase from T's mouth, Hey, watch this. I can lick my arm pit!
Girls: Ewwwww.
T: No, I can do it again, watch!
Girls: Ewww.
Me: T, stop!!
T: What?! I'm still going to do that when I get hair in my arm pits.
Me: {lots of inner thoughts--Geez, kid. }

This is not to be outdone by the preceding commentary. The kids were laughing at the Professor since he had fallen asleep in his car seat and had a bit of drool spilling out of his mouth. I told the kids to leave him alone and that they all likely drool when they are konked out as well. Which led to this:
T: I love it when I fall asleep with my mouth open, and I wake up with drool on my pillow. It's so cold and feels so good.
Girls: Ewwwww, giggle, giggle
Me: T!!!!!!!

He's not usually so disgusting. I can only write this off to trying to impress little girls. He had to throw some testosterone around. I'm disgusted and greatly humored.

Ladies, our men were all little boys once. And if they weren't licking their arm pits or enjoying the coolness and comfort of their own drool, they were doing something to impress us. And we eventually fell for it. Haha, what a fun thought.

School's Out For Summer...

2010-07-20T19:10:00.007-05:00

...Unless you are a Little Boy Blue and have started your 2010-11 school year. Yes, we are starting. Besides, we're spending quite a bit of time indoors with the heat warnings. Wooo-doggy, it's hot.

The boys and I try to rise early, eat breakfast and then play outside until we nearly perish from the heat and then in we go for baths, snacks and quiet time.

This year I have a pre-k, K, and 3rd grader. Oh my, where has the time gone?

My Professor X is my K this year. He is so bright and just devours learning. However, he is sometimes...what's the word...shall we say...difficult. Hmm. Yes, difficult. He has been from the beginning. Behaviorally, he's either the best or worst--no in between. I had reached my wits end this past winter when I looked at Brett and said, "Is he going to be a pain in the butt for the rest of his life??" Yes, I had a moment of weakness and said pain in the butt. The Professor was no where near our conversation, and I was expressing my frustration in mothering and training him. What a battle it has been!

That's when I believe the Lord placed just the right people in my life. I have a couple of mommy friends who listened to my concerns and prayers and suggested I look into the Professor's behaviors and habits. They each had an HSC--highly sensitive child. Not wanting to be a joiner, I started to do research before labeling my child. A couple of books later and a therapists view point we had ourselves a child with Sensory processing disorder SPD. Now that's a broad spectrum. The Professor doesn't have a full blown SPD challenge such as autism. He just needs a little help. I plan on sharing a bit more of this journey later. I just know that there are a lot of moms out there wondering what is going on with their child and have no idea that they have an HSC. This school year I hope to share how we are integrating some sensory activities and how we avoid melt downs.

Because we have an HSC, library story time has been off limits for a while now. Okay, for years. This makes my bookworm heart sad. The solution to the void in my heart came to me when I was thinking of our beautiful downtown area. We have a GREAT downtown. Did I already mention that?? I decided that we would rise early before the heat of the day, go downtown, throw out our blankets and have our own story time and activities. This way the Professor is not over stimulated but is still being stimulated. Oh, what a fine line we walk.

And you know what? It's been a success!

We read a jungle story and brought our own jungle animals for interaction with the story. Then the best part: I bought this game at a yard sale from my friend Suzanne. We call it tails. So, the boys turned into a lion, a tiger and a zebra and off they went to steal {or should I go ahead and go country and say yank} the tail off of a brother. The little circle maze of flowers was the perfect place for tail yanking. What a time they had!

T-Bird has a caught a zebra tail!

Pouncing zebra.

My Professor X with his giraffe for story time.
My pouty Hoot, who is quite ready to get the fun going.

I think the fun is finally going.

P.S. I have no idea why all of this has only a single space after each period. It's not me, it's blogger. I even went through to try to put in another space. Ugh. That's one error that is not mine. No, mine are the typos and mispellings...I love my readers who stick with it. I'm terrible at editing my own pieces. Or perhaps I just don't care to be great at it at this time. Either way, thanks for hanging in there.

Right, His Birthday Is....????

2010-07-08T07:31:00.005-05:00

When asked for the boys birth dates I do have to take a pause and work it out. Sometimes when calling their names they get called a brother's name. It just happens. Why then does this ring in my head throughout every week of my life?

Tristesse d'Alfred de Musset

J'ai perdu ma force et ma vie,
Et mes amis et ma gaîté;
J'ai perdu jusqu'à la fierté
Qui faisat croire à mon génie.
Quan j'ai connu la Vérité,
J'ai cru que c'était une amie;
quand je l'ai comprise et sentie,
J'en étais féjà dégoûté.
Et pourtant elle est éternelle,
Et ceux qui se sont passés d'elle
Ici-bas ont tout ignoré.
Dieu parle, il faut qu'on lui réponde.
Le seul bien qui me reste au monde
Est d'avoir quelquefois pleuré.

...A poem I memorized in 11th grade for the recitation part of a foreign language competition. IT'S IN MY HEAD PERMANENTLY!

My pronunciation wasn't the best. Ugh. While being a procrastinator, I'm also very competitive and have a perfectionist side. I knew if I wanted a good showing I'd have to find a pronunciation tutor. My dear friend, Kristy, helped me both competition years. And I did well both years!

{Side note} Kristy also lent me a book in 10th grade that led to the naming of T-Bird. Kristy is special like that.

I took French and Japanese while in high school and college. 3 years of French and 4 years of Japanese. I mean, it just makes sense seeing as how I live in NW Arkansas. Why wouldn't I? It's soooo widely spoken. {seething with sarcasm} Truly, I love languages and would have loved to go on in linguistics/foreign relations. Next languages to conquer were to be Russian and Arabic. In my defense, I did take a semester of Spanish and disliked it. I could already decipher some Spanish just by taking English and French and finding the similarities.

{A bit of language trivia} The word for bread is the same in French, Japanese and Spanish--pan. Simple enough.

But my kids' arrivals...well...changed everything. Right now, all I want to do is be a Mommy...And it's a good thing. I love it and wouldn't trade it for all the lavender fields and sushi in the world.

Upon occasion my kids will ask the same question(s) repeatedly. And to be just as annoying, I'll answer them in French...repeatedly. When excited with the boys, the Japanese comes out. See, all that language instruction has proven useful.

I did get asked to translate a letter by a local government some years back. I have spoken to some Japanese travelers during Wal-Martian week. Those things make a girl feel special. But for now, I'll stick to my poem recitation and short outbursts at the boys.

And in case you wonder how that little poem should sound...

Baby Talk

2010-07-06T15:14:00.004-05:00

Here are some snips from the last 17 weeks of pregnancy.

1.Professor X: If it's a boy, I'm going to name him Artie.
{X has since been fired from baby naming}

2. T: Mom, if it's twins you should put a sign around their necks with their names on them when they are born. I know someone who knows someone who mixed up their kids. And we wouldn't want to do that. {Translation: Mom, I doubt your ability to keep your children straight. You should probably hang a sign around all of our necks.} Oh and we are NOT having twins.

3. X: {in an astonished voice} I can't believe you are having a girl! Me: Oh, ya? I'm having a girl? How do you know? X: You've always wanted one and now your getting one. You just never know with these things, do you? {with a shrug of shoulders and a sweet smile}

4. T came up with a code for when I go into labor. It goes something like this: The new Jedi is coming!

5. X talks about baby often with big brother. T comes and tells me some of X's questions and comments. One of them was about gender and delivery. If the baby is a girl, Mom will have her. If the baby is a boy, Dad will have him. This made me laugh.

6. The baby's heart beat is nearly impossible to hear. The baby just swims and swims and swims. Janessa, my midwife, kindly told me that I have a fish in my uterus. It's been fun to think of what the sweet pea is doing. Just living it up in the womb! I mean, the baby has no thoughts of the outside world. There is such a purity of joy in the baby's mind and heart that has been such a blessing for me to think about.

So, where are we in our pregnancy? Well, I finally feel better. And I'm finally making good, nutritious meals as opposed to our quick and handy eating we were doing to survive.

I have felt those first flutterings. You know, the sweet conversation that is just between a momma and her baby. No one else can hear the conversation, those flutterings are just for you. I always get a little misty-eyed at those flutters.

At week 16 the baby was completely formed. Now our sweet pea will spend time just growing everything good and strong. Isn't it amazing that so much takes place those first few weeks?! Baby is about 6 3/4in long and weighs about 5 oz. Amazing!

I'm devouring pregnancy books like never before. Currently reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. A must read! And The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth. I have to keep these books put up because like all great pregnancy books, there is a bit of nakedness and birthing pictures.

And probably the biggest news of all is that I'm still trying to minimize our life. Oh, why do I have to cherish everything little thing??!! We have purged the boys toys down to just the ones they love. Now what do I do? We still have too many! I plan on having my organizational friends come over and help with the decision making in a couple of weeks. Oh, and I put one box of baby toys away for baby. I have a few baby toys that I just love. Everything else was donated. Woo-hoo!

Our ultra-sound is fast approaching. Let me just throw in reason 1,398,243 that I would like to have a girl...Calico Critters. She and I would have a blast with Calico Critters! Ya, Calico Critters...That's a nice thought to end on. Little critter families.

T-Bird and the Women

2010-06-17T07:09:00.004-05:00

We're on vacation this week. The original plan was to go to the Gulf...Hmmm...slight change of plan. We've decided to just get in our truck and toodle around our state and see the beauty that is here. So far so good.

This half of our vacation, T-Bird has made some lady friends. Let me just say that I hope that when I'm in my sixties I have as much fun as these women. A group of teachers and retired teachers--have I mentioned they were hysterical?--Well they were. Older women racing each other in laps, seeing who could hold their breath the longest under water and all kinds of games that you play when you are a kid....they were so funny.

Here they are getting in a line, so that their 'chaperon', one woman's 27 yr old daughter, could swim through their legs. Too fun! Notice T taking in the sight.

T-Bird getting ready to cannonball the gals.

And that's when they grabbed him and said, Hey get on her shoulders and wave at your momma.

He and his lady friends had a great time.

Any Hand Will Do

2010-06-09T09:08:00.007-05:00

Most days I do consider myself a great Momma. Most days. After an incident in a woman's clothing store, I'm forced to really look at my life and role as Momma.

Allow me to share the incident with you. I have been forced to reconcile the fact that this fourth baby is showing much sooner than any of my previous pregnancies. I live in Arkansas...where it is hot...where it is hot and humid! Icky. Can you feel the layer of humidity sticking to your skin? If not, you are blessed. Not only do I live in a sweltering place, but I'm afraid that my skin tone and genetic make up are not well suited for this environment. I'm a redhead, with light, light skin that is accentuated with a smattering of freckles. No, the heat of the day is not my friend. Now add that I'm carrying another human being. That has to add at least 10 degrees. Anyway, I need new clothes to get me through the layers of humidity and heat that the beautiful summer brings while my tummy also continues to grow.

So, off the boys and I went to the outdoor mall. The outdoor mall always makes me feel slightly fancy.

There I was perusing the options when I noticed that Hoot had made a new friend. He loved his new friend so much that he began holding her hand. And he would gaze up at her adoringly. Yes, this new friend was good.

She dressed in a beautiful way and carried a lovely handbag--which Hoot was forced to adore.

But this lady was his favorite.

There was something intense going on with this friend. He stood still and just basked in their friendship.

This is where I start wondering: Why does he need to hold an inanimate woman's hand? This child doesn't even want to hold my hand in the store! Does she give him something that I do not? Does he need complete quiet from me? Should I wear dresses that barely cover my rear end and carry a different handbag with each outfit? I'm his Momma! I want that hand in my hand! I want those secret glances!

Yes, I'm overcoming jealousy of a mannequin. It's difficult, but I'm putting forth great effort.

For right now I concede...for my Little Hoot...apparently any hand will do....

Embracing Technology

2010-05-21T08:55:00.003-05:00

Did you know that I'm hesitant to embrace technology? Right now, just the thought of a Kindle sends me into convulsions. I can't even think about reading a book without first sniffing it! The smell of the pages is half the enjoyment of reading!

Let's see. What else? Oh, sure. Texting and smart phones. I just don't do it if it don't have to. Let me embarrass myself and tell you something I uttered about a month ago. Brett and I were talking about getting one of those new fangled phones. I looked at Brett, and honest to goodness, I said, "Ya, I'll get a blueberry." Brett laughed in my face. He never hides his delight in my less than stellar moments. "Uh, honey, I think you mean Blackberry." Well, you say to-may-toe I say to-mah-toe.

Hmm, more techie stuff...Oh, MP3 players. We have a knock off--not an iPod. I like it. I gave it to Brett as a gift so he can listen to good stuff while working. I'd like to have one for each of my kids for travel. They love to listen to their music on Daddy's music machine.

Rechargeable batteries--ya, I've embraced those.

I also embraced digital cameras. Which I now do not totally enjoy. The reason is in the hard tech side of it. All of these pictures on hard drives and memory cards, not printed out. It's just so easy to take thousands of pictures and not have them developed, er, printed. I've instituted a plan of action to alleviate these digital woes of mine. Slowly, but surely I'm processing them.

GPS--My mom and I gave one as a gift to Brett for Christmas. He doesn't use it or like it, generally speaking. He likes it when I have to use it to navigate my way through our homeschooling world. With out activities, trips, and adventures, he likes to know that I'm not reading a map and driving at the same time. And the fact that it locates the nearest police station is reassuring to him. What does he think I do with our kids?! Oh well, I like his over protection. Makes me feel loved.

And the last piece of technology I'd like to mention is very dear to me. Well, it's been dear to me since Monday. I wish I had not rebuffed this device for so long. And that my friends is the spinning toothbrush. Yes, that 'baaaaaaaaahhhhh' you hear is a chorus of angels singing at the greatness of the spinning toothbrush. My teeth are ever so happy. Since I'm overcoming morning sickness, this doo-dad has helped improve my hygiene. I can do a 30 second brush, get a good clean and miss the gag reflex. Pretty sweet set up there!

I'll let you know when and if I ever get a Blueberry....